Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Today, after report writing class I went to the cafeteria for lunch with sister and cousin. FYI, both of them are studying at this University College. As I noticed, there are actually a number of worthy good looking guys around campus. I have my favorite lists. There’s this one particular Malay chap whom I tag as the Hero Remaja! The reason being he reminds me of the many male models wannabe in one of the local Malay teen magazine.
He’s tall, fair and nice built guy. His girlfriend is so ugly, that I wouldn’t mind to replace her. But I don’t like this guy because he is my competition at campus! The competition for the most beautiful man on campus!
I think he’s bisexual….
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
So anyway, I took the day to clean the room. Thank God my room mate weren't around. I peeked at his timetable on his desk, Wednesdays seem to be a hectic one for him. As oppose to mine lah!
Got my laundry done, which cost me RM4.50! Dame.
I had a quiz in the afternoon for Office Application subject. I scored 15/20. I was just too excited but it's not a test or whatsoever. It's just a quiz.
I took off from the lab asap, as I was rushing for a cheerleading class. Huhuhu. The same old me. Practically, today was a little bit different than usual because I was heading to the AmBank Kajang Branch to meet one of the officers, whom drove me all the way to Seremban branch to audition a bunch of wannabe cheerleaders.
Actually, they are preparing for AmBank's Sports Games nationwide level next February. Interestingly, cheerleading is one of the contested sport.
I'm taking charge of Zone 3 (covers Melaka - N. Sembilan - Selangor branch). The audition process was a huge task. I had to be patience, because most of them were either lembab...or just can't cheer at all. I got the 10 girls I wanted but this would be another huge task for me. It's like turning an ugly duckling to a beautiful white swan. I'll update you on this!
See if my magic wand works!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Having to actually live on campus has its advantage in which opens my thinking cap. There are many type of characters that I have never approached of in my life before, and made me realise how lucky I am to be brought up in a moderate but yet fulfilling upbringing.
It is very true how upbringing reflects the person at present. His character, his language and his manner describes his family.
I have not made friends with anyone, except my sister and my cousin. Ironically, my sister is my classmate! We're doing the same course. Sibling rivalry? Maybe.
Anyhow, I should be able to accommodate myself to this new environment. If not, then I have to suck it up and just hate being here. One thing I have learn from my Theories of Communication subject is that we ought to accept to a new environment that we are in. We can't change an environment, but we can change the way we adapt to it. Role taking they say.
Just sharing what I have learned lah....
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005

Now focus on the guy with the red tee! We look alike! Spooky!
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Though I am suppose to be proud of thier achievements, I am trapped in a rivalry. I am 23 this coming February, and IF I were to follow suite what I was planned to do ie. Law, I should be graduating by June next year!
Sigh. I have nothing to shout about now, because I am still stuck at Base 1. I hope things will go easier for me real soon. I'm so confused with everything now! Very confused.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
Today, I will be reunited again with my loving boyfriend after a 10-day old seperation. Thanks to Raya. I can't imagine our first reaction when I see him at home tonight.
Would I greet him say Hi and shake hands? Or should I salam Raya and give him a I miss you so much hug. Or maybe just a kiss, and let that say it all. I torn with many choices. Maybe I do all.
I can't believe the excitement of having him back in my arms. We have only 5 days to celebrate our love drill before I leave for Genting.
He got up early today, to buy me herpia at the pasar pagi in suburb Kuching. The last time I was there, he brought me for a delicious breakfast. Besides the mouth watering Sarawak laksa, I fell in love with herpia! What the heck is herpia? It's a type of kueh, and I have no blinking idea how to explain the ingredients.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Friday, November 04, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Can't tolerate this holiday season. I have fallen trapped into boredom. I became a slave to the fairytale world.I have been skipping gymnastics for a month now. I have not been to the gym as regular. If I did, well what does 1-2 sets of repetition do to me? All I do at the gym is playing my Misssy Elliot cd and dance like a retard. The poor mirror could break into pieces real soon.
I went swim last night. Only a mere 10 laps. Pity.
Hopefully to tone down 2-3kilos by next week. And how do I achieve that? By accepting all the Raya open house invitations!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
He left Pantai at 8:30am.
Afterwards, I was then already wide awake so bought myself a pack of nasi lemak and today's The Star paper. Watched Astro channel 70, the only channel I could watched as the Astro dish we had had some problems.
So I reviewed again my cheerleading videos. I am never bored of it, watching it all over again. Every time I watch a competition, I will get new inspiration and ideas. I'm suppose to choreograph the new routine for my team preparing for the Florida 2006 competition. Well I'm 80% done. Stunt wise, I'm quite happy with it. Just that I'm torn between 3 ideas for dance now. It's either to do an all Britney, a Malaysian remix or hiphop remix.
This is my first time choreographing 100% for All Stars. The UK routine was basically an input from the members. I created the Intro though and a few others, including the cheers. Hopefully I could share the video with you soon, once we pay our money back to the UK people!
Friday, October 28, 2005
So my very first assignment was to spend on clothing. Head to Sungei Wang with my old friend Andy. It has been quite a while I have not catch up with him. He complained that I didn't see him after the UK trip. I got him a souvinier London initial pen to shut up! We met around 4ish. It was suppose to be a bukak puasa with him, but I arranged for an earlier appointment because going window shopping with him is fun! He has great fashion sense.
I got meself 2 cargo pants, which cost me RM160! Thank God it was on sale! Then, got me 2 new tees. One is green and the other pink!
And then we head to Green Lotus. My sister and 2 cousins joined us. It was quiet but the presence of these 3 native bithces made things lively. I kesian Andy as he felt akward! So we all had our little Asian delicacy. Andy had some Bangkok fried rice, and myself the Singapore fried mee. Got us some finger food too.
I love Green's environment, and thinking of having my 23rd birthday dinner there.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Janet Jackson has a daughter!
The battle of the Simpsons: Ashlee wins!
Who is Datuk K?

First, my cousin who died from a tragic accident in Sarawak.
Second, the passing away of our beloved First Lady.
Third, the death of Dato' Sidek, the father of the great badminton Sidek family.
Anyone to add on to this list?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I went to watch this interesting film at GSC Midvalley two nights ago. While my sayang was enjoying his breakfast with his former colleague at the Thai restaurant, I pulak had to snuf myself to watch this gowry and stuffy production.Tuesday, October 11, 2005
The finalists of Malaysian Idol 1 & 2 were there!
Even Bob from AF1 was there!
A few notable ASK and IB dancers were there!
And other unknown faces!
Monday, October 10, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I'm very excited for the Sunday appointment at Istana Budaya. But I am still not really sure to take any part (if given) because I have major commitments with my cheerleading next year. If I were to proceed with this grand project, I will have to commit myself from Dec until Feb which means say goodbye then to the Singapore trip in Dec and two Jakarta trips in Jan and Feb!
Tension!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
First, I won't be going much as often (especially when it comes to eating at day-time) because I'm tired of getting people starring at me thinking that I am a Malay-Muslim murtad which I'm not! Sial.
Secondly, no Musictheque whole month! Chee bai betul!
Third, no Malay guys to hunt because semua berlagak sial! Just because its the Holy month semua aktiviti pun kena tergendala. Fine. I respect.
Fourth, no friends to hangout during daytime because 99.9% of friends are Malay. Bukan racists yer.
Fifth, staying home and be a good boy for the whole month and get rewarded for the coming Christmas!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Reason: Bulan Puasa
But was that decision necessary? I mean although I can notice it every other weekend, when I stand on the podium and glance through each faces, the cute, the handsome, the hunky, the young, the oldies, the ugly, the fattest, and the fugliest, most of them are Malay (Muslim). I take it the management made a good reason to close the club from operating during the holy month.
Then, what do you then to the minorities like me?! The chinese, the indians, the east bumi's, the lain2 and mat salleh, who actually don't practice fasting pada bulan Rhamadan. I'm not upset. Well maybe I am.
I guess I will not be going to club for the next month. Save RM80! With that amount, it is equivalent of 5 time visiting the sauna!
Eh, lama tak pegi sauna kan?
Jeng..jeng..jeng..
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
- The last episode was yesterday!
- So the tiru MTV who first produced this ala celebrity couple on screen. I.e. Jessica and Nic
- Anything on Channel V suck, except for the cute hunky Filipino VJ! Rick, sape nama nya?!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The Night When Bloody Daniel Was The New Idol!
Don't waste your credits lah.
I had a terrible weekend.
So, "where are the girls?"
Oh he replied, "dia orang kat Puchong lagik"... I'm like what the f**k!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
KLASSIFIED
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Mister Want-To-Do-Everything
Monday, September 19, 2005
Dancing Queen!
Travel and Adventure....begins!
God is so good to me....
Penari Lelaki!
MISSY ELLIOT ?
My orgy with my boyfriend's friend
The Silent Crack!
But thank you sayang. You've been a wonderful boyfriend.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Mane-maje saje
Friday, September 09, 2005
Would you like my red ribbon?
I made my debut to contribute for the community when I attended Pink Triangle's MSM Group AGM last Sunday. I still remember my first visit to PT for it's weekly Sunday meetup. I was 17 then. I couldn't be bothered much to attend it regularly because everyone was old. But I knew deep inside my heart that one fine day I will contribute for the group, and of course for the Foundation's objectives. Thursday, September 08, 2005
Girlfriends - LOST!
Name:Hudaa-ness @ DadaaAge:20
Race:Javanese - Malay - Melanau
Born:Kuching, Sarawak (I think)
Current Location:UiTM Melaka
Success at cheerleading meet gievs sport a boost
Competing against 292 teams from 70 countries, they also came up third in the senior co-ed intermediate division and sixth in the senior partner stunt division.
“We were up against powerhouses like the United States and Japan but we gave it our best shot,” said team adviser Ishak Z. Allan, adding that the team only practised for three months.
“I hope that this will be a great start for Malaysians to take the discipline as a serious sport,” he added.
Their success resulted in the formation of Malaysia Cheerleading Association, which aims to promote the sport.
Their patron, Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk M. Kayveas, said the sport would keep youngsters occupied and encourage them to be healthy both physically and mentally.
He also said the Government would give its full support to activities such as this, and praised the team for their first-rate performance.
“Initially it was difficult because of the cold weather and some of us got sick, but it was worth it when we won,” said team captain Nadiha Mohd, 20.
Team All-Stars was Malaysia’s first team and also the sole representative from the South-East Asia region. The team, sponsored by SCP Management Sdn Bhd, comprised 13 members aged 16 to 22.
SCP and Team All-Stars are organising the SCP Cheer Emas competition on Nov 26-27, which is open to all and will be made an annual event.
The competition also aims to introduce the sport nationwide.
The winners will get RM3,000 cash and a trophy.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
My night of beauty with purpose
http://www.missworld.tv/bio/bio.sps?iBiographyID=11545
Saturday, September 03, 2005
My Birthday Wishes Reviewed
I'm 22yo today. And my wish is...
1. that my team, All Stars, will be able to get enough funding to go to UK this July for the UK International Cheerleading Championships! Thanks to my sayang, and a few others we actually did went!
2. that I will be able to secure scholarship for my Degree in Mass Communiation. Sucked! I might have to enroll to UiTM, Shah Alam in Dec!
3. that I will be rich in health, love and relationship. Yes, yes, yes! Is it?
4. that I will do great at my theatre debut, Jalan Impian in July.Produced by Farah Sulaiman and Directed by Sandra Sodhy. Again sucked! My contract was terminated!
5. that I will finally get a cat of my own! Yes! Thanks to sayang again, I have a cat name Joey!
Another Rude Awakening (continued)
Friday, September 02, 2005
Another Rude Awakening
As you might notice, I have been writing sincerely on this blog. Having my life shared with others whom I might not even know where he/she is makes it an interesing affair.
My boyfriend found out about my blog yesterday. I did not purposely gave in, but it was just pure coincident. I can't hide from him forever of any of my dark secret. I guess by now he must have read all my dirty trips to the saunas, and that I am actually a sex freak!
I love you sayang. "You're still the one....." - Shania Twain
Im not giving up on this only till my last breathe.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Say it loud, and proud, MERDEKA!
I didn't give up on hope yet, as I know when it comes to celebration, it must be celebrated maybe not with grand but perhaps a little fun. So I sms-ed a few other friends for thier plans. One was going to LQ and the other, is flexible. So I demanded for Musictheque!
I invited this one guy to join us for the eve. He agreed at first and chicken out half an hour before the meeting! Strike one!
So this close abang of mine, insist that perhaps I can just hangout with his bf's friend. I didn't mind as long I have someone to chill with and not be a lamp post. So this friend of thiers came, he was okay2. But he did not necessary had to put on his foundations right?
After the fireworks and all, we were heading to MT when out of a sudden that friend was gone out of sight. They tried to reach him on the phone, it couldn't get through. Ok, whatever.
Strike two!
At MT, I had to enjoy the night alone. I couldn't have my favorite place (the pole) because all this slutty wannabes already got hold of it tightly! Suck. So I went to the DJ consule, and got myself standing up on the speaker box. I dance all night there. The boys from Ruine and Poise were there, so thank God! We dance. I had a few eye contacts, but well nothing came up!
We finished at 5. An ex whom I have dated before was there. He was so nice, and invited me to chill at Malibu with his bf.So weird and ironic, but I'm ok. So we chatted. Until, I had this focus on one guy who wore green. I knew it, this is it the right time and not strike three! So out of the blue, I took a Starbucks voucher from my wallet wrote my number and asked this Bangla steward to pass it to him.
Of course it took him to smile first and aknowledge me presence, than that I wrote my number. I left earlier, passed by him and shook hands! He sms-ed me when I was on the way back. He was 19.
Finally, I can yell it loud and proud, "Merdeka!"
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Melaka, bandar bersejarah
My dad gave me a family assignment to do, that was to visit one of my cousins here and just to make sure that she is adjusting well with her new environment. She's 19yo, very blur, but was offered to study at one of the Government funded institutions.
Well this trip is really interesting. As my last trip here was to meet this one Baba guy. I was 18yo then. When I flashback again to that exact moment, I thought I was a dumb boy being manipulated by this old man. Dame.
But then I did enjoy the short stay. He brought me around to tourists places and such.
Today, I didn't need that. I'm already a big boy. If dad told me this much much earlier I could have just set a side appoinment and meet another cuter Baba guy!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Exploring the Japanese cuisine
I met my very first Japanese guy who speaks the fag language. His name is Shinobu san, 27yo from the city centre Tokyo. He was in Kuala Lumpur for 4 days summer vacation. Shinobu, a computer engineer by profession was at Thermos for the very first time.Best Merdeka TV-Ad 2005
We all know the past few years, Petronas has been producing well top-notch adverts of which would put tears to our eyes. But this time around, Petronas puts a little twist. No more crying...
If you don't recall which one am I referring to, let me recap both ads...
Petronas ad goes:
this 2 boys standing outside a shoe shop. An uncle spoke to them on buying it. Sikap bantu-membantu. He told of his story, he was handicapped. No right leg, only with the plastic support. So he told that throughout his life, he never gave up...blah blah...he ended going to his Mercedez Benz and looked to the boys saying...."ingat, selalu berjalan ke hadapan, bukan ke belakang!" What?!
Malaysia Airlines ad goes:
Started off with the typical history clips on how we earn Merdeka, and snips of our late Tunku Abdul Rahman. But the best thing is...it started of with..."menghantar rakyat Malaya ke tanah asing..." which was interesting. It was about the cabinet's decision to send teachers to train at Kirkby, England. They were sent to be professionally trained, and they were the officially first Malayan citizens to be told of the independence date...Not those in Melaka yah. So it ended with the snips of these teachers whom some are still alive till today...some of whom are also Tan Sris and Datins! Now, that is real Merdeka ad!
My verdict:
MAS beats Petronas easily this time around!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
How DESPERATE can I be?
I was watching Desperate Housewives yesterday, well I actually wacthed the whole series of yesterday last weekend. So I was just thinking about a few things.1. I'm in a relationship crisis now, am I too desperate trying to break it off? I'm being the selfish one.
2. Knowing the fact I have lost a few pounds, got a new haircut, look better. Compliments coming in and so....well am I again too desperate to ask God to make me more beautiful?
Another case that made me look desperate. I went on mIRC for a casual after a long hiatus. I met this 19yo boy (Malay, MMU student, flex), who eventually gave his picture after a near 30 minutes chat. Gosh, I so love the boy. He's cute, very my type. Got his number after persuading. Disturbing him while he was in class. Again, another desperate situation!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
A people in step with progress
EVER since becoming Christians, the Lun Bawang of Lawas have become exemplary citizens who would make any Malaysian proud.
When the Brunei rebellion in December 1962 broke out, Limbang and Lawas were the focus of the insurgents. Several Sarawak policemen and five British marines were killed in Limbang.
Guru Pantalusang (3rd left with dark glasses) with members of the bamboo flute band in the interior of Lawa in the 1950s. But the rebels were less successful in Lawas, thanks to the information passed by locals to a young District Officer Bujang Mohammed Nor. (Mohammed, now a Tan Sri, later became Sarawak state secretary.)The locals, alerting the government about the impending attack two weeks earlier, helped nipped the rebellion in the bud with the arrest of a local leader. Former Police Field Force Sergeant Major Robert Ngawal Arun, 71, from Kampung Limbuak in Pengalih, said the police went as far as Bekenu to round up the rebels, and hundreds were arrested.
When the idea of a Malaysian federation was mooted, there was initially some resistance from the Lawas people. However, the support of the Lun Bawang from the rural interior proved crucial in swinging the state towards celebrating Independence on Sept 15, 1963.
Headman of the Trusan 200-strong Chinese community Penghulu Liaw Soon Teck, 51, said the Lun Bawang from the remote district of Lawas have evolved into a race of tolerant and progressive people after enduring decades of wars and pestilence.
Liaw, whose grandmother is Lun Bawang, said inter-marriages were common among the Chinese, Malays and Lun Bawang.
“In fact, most of the Chinese and Malays speak Lun Bawang as if it is their mother tongue. We have native relatives even in the most remote places,” said Liaw who estimated that there were about 5,000 Lun Bawang and another 1,500 Malays and Kedayans living in the Trusan region.
On this trip to Lawas, former RTM newscaster and journalist Charles Buas Dawat from Long Tukon, near Trusan bazaar, visited his Malay niece by marriage Dayangku Zaliah Bakar, 42, who runs a sundry shop in the Malay quarter of Trusan.
MP Henry Sum Agong (centre) at the Lawas native market with friends and community members. On the left is Michael Labo, the first Lun Bawang lawyer and on the right is Flavian Liaw from the municipal council. Dayangku Zaliah whose grandmother is also Lun Bawang said: “We are a multi-racial lot. Our Malay ancestors came from Brunei as well as Simanggang (Sri Aman) while serving the Brookes. We have many relatives among the Lun Bawang community. My cousin Awangku Omar who is part Lun Bawang, is a private secretary of a state cabinet minister Datuk Awang Tengah.” A highly literate group, the 15,000 Lun Bawang in the Lawas district now boast of at least 400 people who have achieved academic excellence while taking up vocations in law, medicine, dentistry, engineering and teaching professions.
Many are graduates and diploma holders while a large number of Lun Bawang have become theologians and pastors (many graduating from the Lun Bawang bible college at Buduk Aru near Ba' Kelalan).
The first Lun Bawang politician to make a name for himself in the 1950s was the late Datuk Racha Umong, a former pastor and first local head of the SIB (Borneo Evangelical Mission or Sidang Injil Borneo). His son in-law, Michael Labo Buaye, is the first Lun Bawang lawyer.
Other influential members of the community are the late SIB president Pastor Kalib Besar who died in a helicopter crash in 2003, Dr Judson Sakai Tagal, a surgeon who died in the Bario helicopter crash last July, MP Mutang Tagal who is the older brother of Dr Judson and a lawyer by training, MP Michael Lisa Kaya who served two terms and Henry Sum Agong who succeeded Lisa.
The community also have a dentist in Dr Bob Baru, environmental lawyer Baru Bian, Shell engineer Robin Lusong and Ashton Samuel Satu, a lawyer turned medical health officer who was recently elected president of the Lun Bawang Association.
But the most renowed of all is Kuching-based William Ghani Bina who is president of the Sarawak Teachers Union, chairman of Cuepacs Sarawak, president of the National Labour Advisory Council, national vice president of Cuepacs and vice chairman (education) of the National Joint Council as well as panel member of the Industrial Court and member of the National Labour advisory council.
Temenggong Paris Kaya, 54, who replaced former Temenggong Bagul Lupong, 73, as the community’s paramount chief said that even though the Lun Bawang have made much progress in the past 10 years, they are challenged to keep abreast with the times.
“We have been blessed with a government that cares. We have received great benefits. But our people must not take for granted their wealth and prosperity they now enjoy. We must remember our humble beginnings,” he said.
Temenggong Paris said the lives of the Lun Bawang have changed for the better when they became Christians after an Australian Hudson Southwell started SIB in Lawas in the early 1930s.
He said that even though the Lun Bawang were role models for the other Dayak communities, they must not forget the struggles of their ancestors and their sacrifices to make Lawas safe and prosperous.
Added Henry Sum: “The key work is humility, a trait Dr Judson practised. Despite his demise, we must not lose hope and must carry on the good works he started. I too have a vision for my people and if we all work together, it can be achieved.”
My other active blog
I have been cheering since 2001. And I am currently the senior captain to Team Allstars of Malaysia. We are the shit, the best here! I am also coach to Sekolah Sri Garden's Shewanaz team. I am a big fan of Shirtliff and Dynamitez team in Malaysia, and Greenup County cheerleaders in the US of A. Of course not forgetting my Thai friends from Rangsit Universiy!
Cheer is my life. Not stopping, and will move up the ranks! The next big step, is the birth of the Malaysian Cheerleading Association!
Team Allstars of Malaysia 2006 Agenda:
1. Indonesia Cheerleading Tour, Jakarta, January
2.Cheer Camp at Rangsit University, Bangkok, March
3.Cheerleaders of America Invitation Competition, Florida, April
4.2nd Cheer Clinic with Rangsit University, Kuala Lumpur, June
5.17th Annual International Cheerleading Championship, Nottingham, July
One of Us!
Westlife singer Mark Feehily has admitted that he is gay.In an interview with The Sun today, the 25-year-old said: "I want people to know the truth about my sexuality. I am gay and I'm very proud of who I am. I'm not asking for any sympathy, or to be a role model to anyone else."
"I simply felt it was the right time for me to let people know the truth. I've never tried to hide who I am from anyone, but I'm a very private person and in the past I haven't felt the need to say anything about my sexuality. But I want people to know I'm very comfortable with who I am."
The star added that the rest of the chart-topping group were aware of his sexuality and had "been there for me when I needed to talk things through."
Feehily is currently dating 21-year-old Kevin McDaid, former singer with the boyband V.
Happy Birthday Darling!

He was my cheer-ling, club-ling and bro-ling who now resides at the beautiful beach of Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. 25 years old today! Missing you so much. I was at Musictheque last weekend, and knowing that if you were there things could have spiced up! Wish you the best and may you find greater love there!
One Heart I Hate to Break
He is 36 in December. He lives with his older gay brother, who happens to be a pain in the ass to me. Only recently that he aknowledge my presence in my bf's life. The pressure I get from his family alone is big enough. His sister expects me to be with him like forever! His father always asks about me, where am I, what I'm doing and things like that! The mom, I don't think she likes me.
He is a so-called theatre producer, and his last production was in June 2004! And what has he been doing since then? Nothing. Although he also has a small business, selling traditional anyaman baskets and boxes imported from Bali. This business is shared with his close friend, Al-pacino.
This year, he has been an angel. The UK trip was mostly thanks to his effort. He bought me gifts for my birhtday, for our anniversary, for all small occassions too.
I love him very much, but today my heart is sceptical about our future. I want to stop from all this attachment and be free once again. But I don't dare to delete the beautiful moments we shared. I'm 22, still young, still at the advantage of getting a new lover. But would I want to be a bitch and be selfish, and screw someone else life?
I have not decide on anything, but I am getting a time off from him. I have not told him directly but he knows I am having emotional problems with the relationship. He consulted me today, but I couldn't say a word out. Only a deep breathe, and smile politely to aknowledge his words.
He is in his worst period, counting all the other problems he encounters too. I am not making any decision now.
"Let love lead the way....." Spice Girls
The Rebirth
I sms-ed a few close friends, of which only 2 turn up that night! Even 1 replied saying that I was a sore loser for not attending the rave party at PD! Oh please. Rave party suck big time!
Saturday night, I cooked the usual meal we have. I know is a big letdown, but given the time frame and the choices of food to cook I only had the pasta in mind. The meal lasted for Sunday's lunch!
We watched Desperate Houswives that evening. The 4 of us sitting, glued to the TV trying very hard to stay tuned with the story lines. I had a few minutes of concentration, but lost it when I found these friend who sat next to me arousing me....with his hands rubbing my back. Well, I got so sensitive and thought that I should have just asked him to leave the TV room and adjourne to the bedroom for a quickie!
But I can't, because he was my abang angkat!
I met him when I was 17 (2000). I still remembered, we chatted from the MIRC channel. I plan to meet him up on the final day of my SPM examination. It was a date, and a celebration. We met, and he brought me dinner at Chilli's KLCC. Still remember what I ate, and where we sat.
That night he kissed me, and send me home. And that was it.
I met him again, a year later or so, outside this now defunct club Velvet. Perhaps he was more keen in me then because of my new image. Well I would say I have lost a few weights, went for a series of whitening facial and a new hairdo. So we kept in touch. I didn't put too much of hope then. But our series of keeping in touch, turns out to be more indepth. He was someone I turn to for a piece of mind.
I'm glad that we remained good friends until today, although I know that we will never be together as a lover, or companion, but still deep down in my tiny hole heart I hope I can get him to bed once!
Friday, August 19, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Me and Putster!

Puteri Nurul Nadirah, better known as Puteri @ Pu3 in short, or Putster OR goldfish!
I met her at California Pizza Kitchen in 2003. We were having this history making meeting, with the popular Star sub-editor Beverley Hon. A few aspiring pioneer cheerleaders met her to form the Malaysian dream. The birth of Team All Stars!
This picture was taken when we were at Nottingham. She is just my bestest girlfriend. As we PLUs have our very own a fag-hag, well she's mine!
I have seen her groom the past 2 years going to three now. From that bf to this guy, and now Mr. Bobo whom I think is really fetch! Never complimented this, but I like his selamber style and his hair! Big hair!
Whatever it is, she will be a friend I will be in touch till the very end. You know why? Not that we just love cheering, but we have this chemistry. A chemistry only invented by the two of us!
One most memorable moment is, we were up in Genting and left the whole team in the room and went for Starbucks...and later got scolded by captain (I think dia jealous!). Pu3 is so bottom, but hey! Isn't she suppose to be! Hehe. I kept one pic of hers, which she looks really like a goldfish! I will update on that, perhaps upload it here.
Owh, did I say that she is the prettiest of them lot?...Oooops I hope nobody from the team is reading this. Huhu.
Putster, love ya! Selamat Hari Jadi
The Phase
Anyways, I did went to class yesterday and today. I went back from afterwards, and didn't bothered to join the rest of the classmates to do some discovery at Berjaya.
Yesterday, arrived home at 1 and took lunch. I cooked actually. As I was trying to save the food and do not want to waste, I decided to just prepare soup with vege and big prawns. Ate while watching Mona Lisa Smile featuring Julia Roberts and Kirsten Dunst. Twas an okay 2 hours drama for me.
Today, arrived home a bit later. Didn't cook lunch, cause I had a brunch at our not very popular cafeteria. The food suck, and is so bloody expensive. But I guess I spend more there than anyway because the nearest mamak stall from the campus is 7mins walk. Please, the sweat will clear my foundations away. So, today decided to watch the CD2 of The Terminal. Main cast Tom Hanks. But the CD went berserk after 18 mins, so I switch to The Hour. And guess what, I slept on the sofa afterwards.
I miss Sherwood!

Both shots were taken from the Receptionist entrance.
This is one of the residence at Nottingham University, the official accommodation for the International Cheerleading Championships 2005.
Team Allstars of Malaysia was put to stay at the Sherwood residence. My room is on the 2nd floor, 3rd window from the left.
This pictures is the Dining Hall, and also the Residence Bar. The food served for breakfast and dinner is typical western. And well, we were rightfully served rice on our last night! Hahaha...
My first day of eating was not to my liking. I was not used to eat, and the thought of having nasi lemak kills me! One of my girls shouted, "I nak makan Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa lah! Jom!".....Gila kah!
Now that I'm back, Im missing every minute I spend there. I had a room to myself. The bed was very comfy, and each evening when I look at the green field seeing other teams practising their routine makes it like in a dreamland! I mean cheer-land lala thing! Hey, you might think I'm crazy but well I'll asmit it now I'm a cheer freak! Peduli ape...
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Party at 17th Floor
I asked if I can join, he said nope because it was only for 2 person. Sial. So I hantar lah sms "pleeeease".....looks desperate. I thought it would be organised by the plu guys on the 8th floor, sekali I found out it was that cute Sarawakian guy on the 17th floor! When my friend was there for 15mins (I think), according to him everyone was so kekwat so I decided to go, and of course nak jugak kekwat!
This guy on the 17th floor (I live on the 19th) has been my neighbour for the past 5 months or so. He used to be here, but left to Holland for a good 10 years before he decided to come back. He's 36yo Mirian, just like me! I met him a few times in the lift.....and the most we could speak out, "Hi"..."Bye".....gosh!
Then came last night.....I wore something ruggard (so I won't look too adik2). Padahal, when I was there....there were so many adik2! I felt I was like in Blue Boy! Coz everyone whom I know at club, were there. It was just a normal party, someone was leaving to somewhere, but who cares. I got my drink, I ate the peanuts and got to know the host pretty well.....
I think he ajak me main with him unofficially kot! Next time I see him in the lift, I'll reconfirm.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
One of them...
I received an invitation from a friend's friend, who happens to be one of them. Clearly enough, I am not one of them. I met some not one of them at the gala. Classy event. It was held at one of the 4-star hotel in town, and the dinner was to fund raise for them activity.
See the picture, them was the MC! I enjoyed the whole night, strutted with great entertainment. I think better than Britney's concert in Tokyo! The major highlight of the event was the Miss Ibans 2005! Don't ask why Ibans! And the winner is....

Miss Tania Brigade-Tee Sheikh Abdul Salam, a 24yo, Law graduate from a university in England. She dazzled the crowd with her great talent in singing and dancing, to the tune of..... Beyonce's Crazy in Love. Her low and husky voice (*hint) was just enough to put the RM125++ worth crown on her tiny precious head.
Tania will represent the Ibans, at the Miss World Ibans 2005/2006 at Florida US of A this coming August 31st! Way to go Tania. Make it a double celebration for all Malaysians...
If you wish to compete at next years Miss Ibans, please feel free to contact the Ibans Co. Ltd. or perhaps email me and I'll forward your resume.











