First, sorry for the delay. I have not been able to post as regular as my examination is around the bend.

This week is particularly my busiest, with many deadlines for final projects and assignments. Goodness. I have 3 presentations too. The week after next would be final exams, before I call it quit from hostel and the classroom drama for about another 2 weeks. I will miss my roommate then.

So what could have I been doing for the past week or so. Well, I turned 23 (safely) on Friday the 17th of February. My first birthday sms came from my ex. Well it was very unexpected. I mean I was doing my assignment, and came in the sms. Happy Birthday! I starred on my green wall, the clock was slightly to 12. Well what the heck. Thank you I replied.

The irony here is.....we chatted on the phone for a while. I was bored then, and he being the usual gatal and nice made me so want to be with him just for the night. I said if I could come over. And of course he welcomed me. So there you go, I took a cab to his place slightly around 1 in the morning. The first hour I turned 23. And to get a birthday f**k from my ex. Not once but twice. Sorry, TMI.

I stayed the whole day the next day. We had lunch at Berjaya. Please don't assume that we are patching things up but just think this as catching things up between us. The young man he is dating now seems so sweet and a little naive. I read his sms-es he sends to my ex, which I think it's the very typical adik-adik. I couldn't read further. It was enough to tickle me.

I was so fond teasing my ex with this chap. I'm not jealous, I think. Or maybe I am. I'm so confused.

I kononnye had my second birthday f**k with this other guy. Let's call him Abg J whom I met at Sentral a few weeks back. So Abg J called me up during the weekend I celebrated my birthday. I was a little surprised that he actually called me up to go out. For a drink and not sex. He picked me up after one of my cheerleading practices. He was excited to see me, but I was not. I was really nervous instead.

I like his eyes the most. He is cute but one little I dislike is that he is a smoker. Let's just close one eyes on this lah, not everyone is perfect right. We went to this gerai somewhere in Ampang, nearby to his place. I had stomach butterflies so he ordered me the Nasi Goreng Paprik Ayam. Dia cakap sedap. Tapi makan satu suap, I think the one at my hostel lagi sedap! Anyway, our conversation was so-so. I would rate the intellectuality of our conversation between 6-8. Though we may have a few things in common (he works as an events personel in the corporate communication division at a local insurance company - the 2nd best in Malaysia), I did not find the remaining topics as interesting. I mean dating is trying to get to know the other person.

Uncertain Reduction Theory theorists argue that when one wish to know the other half, more questions will be asked. As uncertainty increases, so does the information seeking behaviour. Sorry I'm trying to put in what I have learned in class and adapt it to reality. Abg J reminds me of my ex a little bit, talking about the past flings and etc. I mean do I need to know that. Hello? Or is it just some penyakit all abang-abang has. To list down who and how many times they have had this and that. Just to impress the younger party. Sorry, I dont.

It's still too early to write more of Abg J. Don't want to be the excited one. I'll just let it tag along. Hopefully I could show him off to some of my friends this weekend. Or maybe not.

Again, I had one of my boring weekends. I don't know who to blame for this.

First, I was told not to club last night as Blue Boy was raided on Friday night. Everyone assumed that Musictheque was next. All this is getting sickening, thanks to the news paper report recently on the active underground activities of Malaysian gay men. When I read one of the article on one of our local daily (Bahasa Malaysia version of The Malay Mail), I can't stand reading the next paragraphs and so on. It made it sounded that the PLU's are some dirty trash and that they are the worst being living in this world. Wtf!

I hope this will stop soon. Especially with Pak Lah's new cabinet line up, and the Sarawak State General Election next month. Malaysians should read something that is much more closer to them. Something that connects. Not to read who had sex-with-who and got caught. And where is the hottest gay hangout. Unless they are trying to wide-spread the community, itu lain hal lah!

I've got a few projects and assignments due in the next 2 weeks. I guess things are coming at the right time. I'll just finish what I need to do, and take clubbing on the sideline. Perlu.

With so many things going on this week, maybe I'll just recap what happened. Really, I had my thrilling rendezvous.

Saturday

I went to Sentral. Ooops. Paid my second visit there and met this guy Joe. He is an event manager, Malay guy residing at Bandar Baru Ampang. I was suppose to see him again later that night with his bunch of friends at Blue Boy but I decline to go at the last minute because I was really really tired after whole day out cheering, and steaming myself. It was one of the earliest Saturday night off.

Sunday

I skipped church today to train the DHL staff at the gymnastic centre. It was a little akward because I had to go to my rival's place. FYI, currently my team a.k.a. Team Allstars of Malaysia is in a battle of the best cheer squad in Malaysia with CHARM All Stars. Both teams has won accolades at international tournament. Anyway, I'm quite proud with my DHL team. They're advancing far better compared to my school team. Really sad. And I just found out that one of the girls tossed is a mother of two. Perlu. I mean you already have kids and still want to be gedik!

Monday

Got up early at 5ish preparing for a performance. It was an event for Shell, of which they were sponsoring this one couple driving around the world aiming to break the Guiness of the World Records by pumping in petrol only 50 times throughout the journey. So Damansara-NKVE Shell Station was one of the 50. I was there cheering. And met some hottie! Adui.

Tuesday

Busy preparing my project while some students are busy selling flowers and teddy bears. Gosh Valentine sucks! I spend my evening in the room. Listening to pathetic romantic songs by Ronan Keating and gang, whilst my roommate watches Korean drama on his PC. When we were tucked in bed....Ronan sang, "You say it's best when you say nothing at all..." Gosh so irony! That night I wore my new black boxers. And that was not enough to get my roommate to bed with me!

Chee bai!

Wednesday

Had no class as most students were busy selling stuff at their stall. It's Minggu Keusahawanan. We have gazillion stalls selling 2nd hand DVDs and VCDs, bundle t-shirts and many many food. Macam pasar! My sister and cousin were selling cookies and Carot cake. I regret for not participating and opening my own booth. They both made good sales. If I did opened, I would have a Kissing Booth. Semua mesti nak cium I kan...?

Thursday

Classes were shitty as not all students were present. Duh. So I took the opportunity to kow the lecturers. Bought each of them a Carot cake at a discount rate! And asked for tips for the Finals. Like this lah....nak sangat jadi teacher's pet and all. You gotta be aggresive! Hopefully I'll get my 3.5!

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I met my ex at his place. It was for some cheer stuff where I had to send some fax out. He said there would be a guest. I knew it was one of his date. Ref: www.ralatgayboiz.blogsot.com

I arrived. Gosh he is tall! I think about 6 foot. Fair Malay chap. At first I thought he was the MAS steward. Sekali....he is like 23yo and a UiTM student! Perlu?! I found it very interesting then. Well I am happy to see my ex with him. Although I was really really in a weird state. I can't explain but I was. Thank God the cats were there to distract me.

I still love him. Confession.

I saw this guy punye bump. He wore this ketat ketat boxers so of course lah nampak. Since I know my ex very well....hmmm....mesti dia orang main macam gile habis! Sorry. TMI.

By now, everyone knows that I'm actually a single young gay man again. The break up of my recent near 2 years relationship was a big hit to me personally. But the decision was tough and a must. But not everyone knows about it. I was this one joint where plu hangs-out with friends for drinks and chats. It was my ex's friend. He was there with his other friends. He saw me and dropped by to see me at my table. He asked how was I with my bf (ex lah), and it was so akward but me being the true professional said things were good. Like usual. Well let time do the rest for him lah. He will know it one fine day. For now I am fine.

Then I have this one friend who was in shocking trauma when he found out I met my ex for a drink the other day. "I thought u broke up!"

Well breaking up the relationship doesn't mean we can't meet up for drinks right. I met my ex again at Musictheque. It was another akward scene for me. I was trying so good to be normal about it. Bumped him at the corridor and we chat. I was shying away from the drag show which was going on. As we came back looking for his other friends, he hugged me. It was nice of him. But I felt terribuly wrong. Then again, I am fine lah. Be the liberal new-age sensation guy!

While thinking of what to write, I just receive an sms from a friend who is currently on a mission trip to travel the whole land of Indonesia. The sms go:

Now in Danau Toba. Hujan and sorang2 dlm bilik. View breathtaking tapi semua gelap.

It is so cool to be able to travel alone, and enjoy the freedom. I wish to be in his shoes one fine day. Maybe travelling now is a no-no for me. One, because I need a bank to support my trip. Two, I have many other important life engagements now. Three, enjoy what young bitches like me do nowadays first. Ie. Clubbing & sauna.

If not mistaken, Danau Toba is where the massive giant volcano is. No wonder breathtaking maybe. Tapi gelap. So his sms is a bit conflicting. But whatever it is, God's creation is always beautiful than Beyonce's butt. But Beyonce's is also God's creation!

Enough said. God is just great lah!

I had one of the most boring holidays ever. Well, I did post my grudge here. And again I am swearing upon it. My lecturer asked me how was my break, I smiled: "Boring giler! Can't wait to start class!" Yeah right.

It was just excuses. I needed to do something. Maybe studying was one of it. Have not had sex on the weekend. So maybe that is one of the othe reason for the grudge. I can't tolerate that the semester will come to an end soon. 4 weeks. And of course the Finals. I'm quite optimistic with my results. After reviewing all my 5 subjects, I think hitting the 3.5 should not be a problem. I think. It's just an opinion. I have so far done well, above average, near distinction for most of my assignments, projects and presentation. Semalam, my test for Comm Theory pun dapat puji from lecturer. Owh, perlu sangat lah tuh....

My roommate has been a nice chap. We finally talked on Sunday night! Yes! We talked. Made conversation. Two way communication! He was a bit gagap, and teragak-agak in asking me some questions like where do I live, what do I like, do I have a girlfriend, where I hangout...... All these questions are so famillar! So I asked him, without hesitate, are you top or bottom?!

He said, "what?"

I said, "top or bottom?" He gave me a frawn. Silent. And he replied, "I'm flex."

It takes a f**king dutch courage to do that ok!

These cny holidays is totally turning me into a restless person. So many hours to kill, and I don't know what to do. Although I know I have 2 presentations to be presented in class in 2 weeks, I just don't have the right mood to finish my assignments. I just needed break. But the break given is too much. I think Malaysians have been quite a lazy lot the past month. With so many many holidays, especially when it was on a Monday and everyone takes this huge opportunity by taking longer leaves. Silly but no offence. Thank God I have this new digital thing with me. I was at SoGo yesterday with my twin sisters, and mum. Mum was actually trying to get something from the street nearby so popular for what it sells. So silly, I couldn't bothered to tag along but remained at SoGo. Everyone was everywhere. Duh! It was a holiday. Silly. I took many silly pictures. But this silly computer of mine can't load in some of the silly pictures I took. I'm not silly, the computer is.

I miss Willy pulak! My fingers can't stop typing, because silly rhymes with his name, Willy.

Sometimes when I speak on the phone with him, he sounds silly. I mean like a blonde. It's either he can't understand me speaking with English accent or maybe just plain silly. Oh Willy!

I don't think I will be parading Willy to any of my friends any time soon. I'm still in the midst of knowing him because whatever-happened-to-Stevie case is not to be repeated. Stevie sms-ed me last Monday wishing me Gong Xi Fa Cai. So silly. Again. No offence to those who have sent me one, but it is annoying for friends to not know which joyous season do I really celebrate. I'm alright with the Muhibah concept, but to me assuming a person's belief is a no-no. Just because I'm sepet, doesn't mean I decorate my house with Red tiny envelopes! Btw, mentioning of the Red envelope. Since I only visited 2 houses this year I only managed to collect a dreadful RM3! Shame. I think it's the age.

Do I look so matured? Willy thought I was 27yo plus when he first saw me. I feel really old! I envy my darling friends who still have the adonis feature and all. But I have to live with what I have. Just accept the fact that I am already drawn in the group of those who matures beyond their age. I'll stop here. As I keep writing, I will be writing more dreadful stories. I need a break. If not, I'll turn silly. Sillier than Willy!

I have been trying to make an appointment to meet Willy for a date, but to no success. It's either I'm not available or he isn't.

He called me at 3.45am yesterday! He just got back from a friend's party. He was drunk. Willy said he missed me so much and wanted me to be with him then. Crazy. I was actually just out of bed watching Oprah's repeat! I thought of driving to his place, which was less than 8mins. But I managed to convinced him to get a rest.

Willy and I have differences, expecially in our family upbringing. Last weekend, we had a nearly 1 hour chat on the phone and he was speaking of his father and how he hates him so much. I tried to understand him, being a 19yo, young brat, all the urge and rage. But then thinking of the overall effect, Willy should try to accept his father's immoral behaviour. I'll try to be the angel. But with no promises.