Best Newcomer 2006 winner, and this years favorite who fell short of the Top5 Award. Nevertheless, it was my best experience and memorable moment as the coach. 12 of the girls are graduating this year making it a fresh new brids of Anchor girls for 2008. To Saf, despite your injury you are still the bomb for being there with the team.

Next year, we're definetly anchor-it!

My best newcomer for 2007. Eventhough they did not win because of the unfair scoring system (girls versus boys - mana aci!?), you lots are still lovely. And your uniform, so professional. Thanks to me again. Heheh.

p.s: Syg, thanks for the inspiration. Vibrant up your life is now our motto!
Visit: www.sorakmalaysia.blogspot.com

So the cheer fever is finally over, and this year my schools come back empty handed. Last years Best Newcomer winner came in a whisker to clinched a Top 5 award but because of the first day mishap, we were only good to be placed at 6th. I don't blame the team for this, but maybe myself. We lost our most calibre flyer (a cheerleader who is tossed up in the air during stunt) 2 days before the finals, when she landed her head on the floor performing a twist dismount from air. If I dind't asked her to do so, she wouldn't had fell and I didn't had to rechoreograph the stunt and routine in whole. And chances are my girls would have easily slipped in the Top 3.

I was confident these team in particular would deliver because I saw the techniques and difficulty level they have performed at the workshop and they were indeed one of the best. But I guess this is just my part of process to learn the drills of life. Not everyday is beautiful, and not everytime what you wish for will come true.

My other two teams were mediocre. The first team from PJ performed so badly on two this despite the confidence they have showed during practices. They too had high difficulty but when it came to the two day competition, they faltered worse from the earlier team. And the third team, which I slotted to win the Best Newcomer Award only managed a dismay 17th position overall out of 41 teams.

I knew they were the best, given the syncronised dance and motions as compared to the 2 all-boys team who beat them to the title. The only advantage these boys had was the stunting skill which I think is an insult to my new girls. And when Jien and co-host Sarah Tan announced who would win the Newcomer Award, the crowd cheered the name VIBRANT out loud! I was too already excited. Then, these two VJs announced something else. I stood there, stunted. I was looking at the bunch of boys bouncing around for they have won, and my girls did not.

I starred back at my girls, and just clapped my hands along with the crowd who too I guess was in shocked. I mean, the boys danced like these abeng on the street. Jumps not syncronised, and don't forget to mention tumbling. Stunt wise I can mute. But overall impression, I knew my girls was the bomb newcomer.

I'm not happy with the new scoring system because it does effect the overall standing. All-boys team stand bigger chance to win, since they're stronger. And then, new teams don't have chance to win because they don't have proper technique to challenge the oldies.

But whatever it is, with my good 6th placing performance it actually earned me an offer to coach another school which was once the force of cheerleading in Malaysia. An all girls school situated in the hill of Kuala Lumpur, I guess the offer came at the perfect timing.

Oh, I'm leaving to Jakarta next week from the 2nd until the 6th to judge a cheerleading competition. I was invited by my friends from the Indonesian Cheerleading Community.

Gowd, I'm skipping a week of class. Ish ish ish....

I did not sleep last nite.

Remember the guy whom I met at Laqueen, the one who actually has a boyfriend but I'm still going out with him. So let's call him Kayrul.

I was at Kayrul's place the second time last night. Our first night, we just chatted in the living room and his plu housemates were seen pipping from the room. I noticed that he seldom, or perhaps never brought a man back because his housemates said so to me when he was away to the loo.

I'm quite amazed. Well he never brought his boyfriend back home too, which I kinda overtook him there. Secondly, I know Kayrul likes me so much and his affection to his boyfriend is getting lesser everyday. I think. That is what I think, but I don't want to think that way. I am enjoying his company but not to the extend of leaving the boyfriend for me.

I'm still emotionally unstable and I'm taking Kayrul as my medicine.

Everyday I sms him, but with his job which requires him to be attentive to his work when clients are around then I wouldn't be able to reach him for awhile.

Back to last night, I stayed quite late til 3am. We actually kissed and hugged, like we did the first night. But last night, we couldn't help it and proceeded all the way. It might sound a bit corny, we were in the living room and his housemates were walking back and forth from the rooms to the kitchen. Yeah, the living light were all dimed but I was still shy to proceed. But Kayrul was already over me. He's a good kisser. I mean boleh tahan, the type that you can kiss not to boredom.

Kayrul played the passive role, and I the opposite. Hah. I enjoyed it.

We did not went further until our undies, because we agreed not to. I mean sex was not so important to me, and him too. So we stayed hugging one another. Until he slept, and my arms wrapped around him. I dozed awhile, but got up when he actually snored. It was time to go.

Just some pictures I wanted to share from my last Xmas trip to Sarawak. Long overdued but some of it narrates a story.

This is me who so want to be the kampung boy. Tha fact that everytime I go back, I will try not to get my hands really dirty. The most I can do is just feeding the hens. Other manly chores, like going to the jungle for hunting...just so not me.

This trophy is from the many many regettas (or you may be famillar it with the long boat race) won by WiraJude. It's a race boat built by my dad dated back in the early 1990's. WiraJude can accommodate to a maximum 20 paddlers at a time, and has won many races in Brunei, Limbang and the furthest to Kuching. I vividly remember when I was 11years old in Miri, when WiraJude raced in the Lutong river. The most anticipating moment was when I hear family and friends, relatives cheering WiraJude repeatedly! I'm like, gowd, I'm the wira! You won't know how it felt back then. Just like in cloud 9.

There was another season going on during the festive season. It was also the durian season. I'm so blessed that both my grandparents has a durian farm. Gosh, if I were to invite you in my holiday ride I guess you might get fed up by the third day because every meal this King fruit would be served. I think I ate so much that I blotted up. I have to wait for next year again to taste my own Durian!


Mr Piggy, was slaughtered for a lunch bbq hosted by a cousin. Well it was a bit of a reunion gathering for all cousins from the Semenanjung, Brunei, Sabah, Singapore and Australia. Pity him, but we were all so freaking hungry as most of us skipped breakfast for this. Sorry if you're a Muslim, just can't help it to share the joy of being a headhunter again!
Note: The Lun Bawangs are known for their headhunting skills, before the intrusion of Rajah Brooke to Sarawak in the early 19th century.

I have to make a confession here. Well throughout the past one week, I have actually spend my time dating or perhaps you say getting to know this one guy.

Well in my earlier post I did mention about this guy whom I met at Laqueen, and apparently had fallen for me since years back. This dated back to March 2004 when I performed at a showcase in Genting. How remarkable was that.

This guy is a friend to a friend's ex. I don't want to reveal the exact identity because it might cause some speculation around and at the end of the day destroy's everything that was already built. I like him, but I just got teared into pieces from a relationship. And he too is in a relationship, only 1 month old. So it explains how casual and brief we are at the moment.

So we did talked, and I kinda suggested that we should just move along and let time decide everything. I don't want to be another guy robbing someone's boyfriend which I think is one of the most sinful thing to do by a PLU. Dah lah PLU, nak rampas laki orang lagi. Like double edges sword piercing into your heart.

Ok. We agreed to just be casual in our friendship, or dating process. He called me as his teman tapi mesra. Well wasn't that Harry's role before. Hah. So funny. Last Sunday he went to Maison and invited me. I said if your boyfriend is coming then there is no point for me to go. He said no, and he wants his teman tapi mesra to be with him. So I tagged along. Well it might sound stupid, but I'm not losing anything at the same time. I enjoy his company and so do he.

He lives in Bangsar and works there too. Nice guy, outgoing, smart, shy at times but really easy going. He goes to the gym, and lose quite a lot of weight in recent months. Interesting enough when I am suppose to have the same spirit as he do. He likes the way I am pretty much, because he's into guys like me. I won't want to describe myself now, but I just cannot believe that I'm going out with a guy like him.

The only setback now is, I can't bring him out any day I want because if he's with his boyfriend, then priority goes to that idiot. Fcuking hell! I paham lah. I kan husband number 2. Eh.....

I'm a husband now, ok.

A close friend of mine suggested that I should just try to subscribe to Guys4Men.com since my breakup. Well, he said all I need to do now is to meet as many men as possible and just enjoy every bit of it. I don't think he was suggesting me to fuck around town, with any Tom, Dick and Harry.

So I did.

Just a day my profile was logged on, I received three smses from other plu friends saying that they notice my new profile. I'm like how the heck they knew about it. Then I realised that at the homepage of the website, they 10 new profiles would be publicised upfront. And my profile lasted 3 days in the Top10. Great, I didn't really need that kind of publicity. Even my headlines of the profile was a bit bitchy.

Nevertheless, a few guys has replied. Some not my type at all, some so-so, and some really into and likewise.

By the way, I went for movie date last night. With a guy whom I have went out since the break up. I might take him as a rebound, which I don't really want to think so. But at the same time, this guys is currently attached. Not my fault though. They've only been together for a month so still new and berputik cinta mereka. Apparently this guy knew me long ago just didn't had the courage to come up to me until the night at Laqueen. Remember the night I found out about my ex, and my steward friend. Well he was there. And he came up to me. Phew.

You don't know how difficult it is for me to cater and treat my emotional pain at this moment. Unless you yourself have been in my shoe, then we can pat our backs together.

I was browsing through my picture files on the laptop, just trying to recall back memories. Well one of the folder was Sayang. Well since my laptop has been frequently used for public purpose (like my sister, cousin, classmates and sometimes mum too) so any files that is discrete and deemed not to be shared has to be located in a secret hidden folder.

So Sayang folder was pictures of both of us, and mostly his. Well there were some memorable candid shot I took out from my Nokia hp. Some were from the parties he always do, and some were from the holidays we went together.

I don't want to be a cry baby, but as I browse through every picture in detailed my mind begins to mesmerize the moment. Well I was already in the feeling mood, and tears rolling down my chic. Gosh, I'm suppose to move on and I'm still wondering around!

The past week or so, I think I have not been the usual me. Apart taking almost all of the 24hours a day with the cheer trainings and dance rehearsal, I still had time to sit back and think of the sad case. I mean, I am the sad case being dumped over another close friend. Despite loving him so much and at the same time hating both of them for this, I just cannot tolerate but to move on. That was it, Jude you gotta move on.

I met someone last week, and another one over the weekend. But nothing sparkling because I am the sad case. And just to make it worse, I took this test online where it grades you whether are ready to move on from a break up, a rebound or etc. Well the final test said, I am ready to move on but at the same time I might think they guy I'm dating as my ex. The rebound part, maybe. So there you go, the sad case.

This Is My Now, Jordin Sparks, American Idol 6

There was a time I packed my dreams away

Living in a shell, hiding from myself

There was a time when I was so afraid

I thought I'd reached the end

But baby that was then,

I am made of more than my yesterdays

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment

As I looked around

I can't believe the love I see

My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts

That was then, this is my now

And I have the courage, like never before

I've settled for less and now ready for more

Ready for more

I'm suppose taking two weeks break from the semester before entering my final semester. But due to work, it seems to me it is just like any ordinary day.

Well since the National cheerleading championship is around the corner (a week to be exact), it is undenying that I'm dedicating my time to the three teams I'm coaching. Dividing my time for three is manageable, if the timetable really works. But what made this to it's toll is that I recently accepted to perform at Laqueen for Friday the 22nd. That's like the eve before the Nationals.

So the past one week, and the week to come my evenings has been always going to the studio at Danau Kota where the group rehearses. Actually this studio is family owned, and one of the boys (also the choreographer) is the director himself so everything is his, and incidentally ours too. So it has been the second home.

Last night we stayed up til 3am! Sacrifising my time to Laqueen! Blah!

I was suppose to meet some new friend but had to cancel that. I was already planning to wear my new top from FOS.

Whatever it is, this would be my last dance with this group too. Gosh, it's taxing, tiring, mind boggling and of all physical torcher! You'll understand later when you get to watch us, the RnP Boys performing!

Bu the way, Happy Father's Day daddy!

He has moved on happily with my so called friend now. I was at his place picking my stuff, he was happily returning my belongings. All was packed tidy in a box. I was really in my utmost emotional pain. Whatever it is, the past 3 years has been my brilliant experience loving a man I truly love and admire. But it all ended in ashes.

All the best to him, despite I know he would be reading this too. I know we would still be friends, but not like before. My perfect song dedicated to you sang by Rihanna, Umbrella.

Goodbye sayang.

V I B R A N T

My students from SMK Puteri Titiwangsa, newcomer hotshots for the national cheerleading championship Cheer 2007 organised by The Star Youth2 and Silkygirl. I have my biggest faith'in them to clinch the Best Newcomer Award. I dare to put in RM50 bet on the table!

The regionls for Penang and JB starts this weekend, and GrandFinals at Bukit Jalil on the 23rd and 24th. Wear Purple if you're coming!

It's so irritating to know that my ex, and his new bf (a self confessed friend of mine), has actually read the post I wrote for Friday. I blame myself for giving the address to my bf last time. I mean, I put trust in him as this blog was meant to be an online diary.

I did not mean to take publicity or even sympathy out of this blog, but it's just my option to express my feelings. Well you never know one fine day, that I would put this blog into a book instead. There you go, a blook follower!

The steward text messaged me two nights back confronting on the issue. Well I'm not really bothered right at this moment because nasi sudah menjadi bubur. What I can believe to say is that I'll just move on, taking this bitter moment as lesson to be learnt.

This is my very first love, and it really hurt me when I finally figured I was being a dumb fool. And having the perfect friends around me, you guys are my one fine medicine. Abg Shan, thanks for the shoulder to cry on. Sorry, the night after Laqueen I only had tears to roll on you. And you gave your piece of mind that I'll use as my spirit to spur on.

I was at my ex's on Monday to return his stuff. Well it was just a paper beg with some shirts, and his baju Melayu. I came knowing that I would have a few shirts and the blue jeans I wanted back. Didn't notice that it turned out to be one big box of everything! That was the three years of accumulation. As though I actually live there. Well I lived in Pantai Hillpark.

Despite the nasty things in between, I still hope to saviour the friendship with my ex. Yes, I do hate him but at the same time I still love him for everything. There would be many things I would miss about us, but that would have to be left to be hanged on the wall of memories. He has moved on, so I better do too.

My biggest confession of all time, and most probably my best seller!

I was officially left on Thursday, the last day I sat for my exams. And the sms was enough to answer his silence all the past days. Now I know. Well I knew it would come, but not that soon. Then I was ready.

I had the weekend to think over about it. But what made my biggest confession the best seller is my friend backstabbed me from the back and this was all the evil plan of his and now my ex-boyfriend.

Laqueen on Friday would react as my most outrageous clubbing ever. I was there with this friend, who apparently was to entertain me from the break-up. Yes, I was really emotionally drained because I was still in love but already letting go. I came earlier than expected so waited outside for this friend. As gazed over the end of the street, I knew I saw someone particularly famillar. It was my ex. And he was with his ex. And I, the ex was there too. I looked for an emergency hideout. Trying to avoide him. Duh, it was a night to celebrate the sadness not to deepen the cut.

This friend of mine, trailled behind minutes later with his ex too. Don't get confused, it was a night for exes lah! I tried to convinced this friend of mine, shall we call him the steward since that what he does. So again, I tried to convinced my steward friend that I wanted to go back because my ex was around. He then convinced me until when I should hide. True. Lagipun, I was all nicely dressed up for the night.

We went in, Laqueen was near empty. Not even midnite. This steward friend grabbed my hand and we were heading towards a bunch of his friend, and yes my ex was one of them. So goodbye avoidance, and hello reality. I gave my descent smile and salam him. Of course with a kiss on the chic.

It was my weirdest moment. Not yet.

I composed myself to my best, and yes I took my Sempoerna packed out, and smoked. Konon nak control macho, but deep inside I was simply emotionally drained with pain. Sakit.

Midnite passed, crowd came in. I was expecting a new friend to arrive so I was to hangout with him. At the same time, the steward friend was at his best entertaining me from the break up misery. Kononlah. He bought some drinks, with alcohol. And I'm not really good at this, because the last time we had one jugged I was already dizzy. This time he got us two, and I know that night I was going to drunk. And yes I was.

But before I was to get high, my ex slipped across my ears and said that he was going out with my steward friend. Again, Sempoerna was my friend. And I was at my perfect compose. But in my heart I was already screaming and yelling. My ex the asshole, and my friend the devil! As soon the steward friend knew that the news was in the air, he purpuatedly came and hugged me. Sorry babe, I didn't mean to hurt you. Lagipun, I nak mati in two years!

I'm like, it's alright. I'm ok lah. You be happy, and I'm happy. Yeah that's me on compose. My devil side is already ragging up to it's most extreme level. When he said he was about to die, I know and assumed a little bit longed before. Because I know his ex was sick. So if this steward friend is dying, then let him be! I wished he died that night. On the dancefloor.

It was the major murder plan. And they killed my softly.

I went back home a miserable young man. I was half drunked. And my brains grasping for air.

Over the weekend, I had to swallow this pain. I just can't believe the fact that this steward friend was indeed a total asshole. And to make things worst, my ex tagging along and making it all worst. How could he go out with him?

I have to confess here that my ex boyfriend close friend once invited me out for a date. But I know it sounded so ridiculous because he was my boyfriend's friend. And now that this ex boyfriend of mine, someone whom I appreciated the love with was just another slut.

I hate the man I still love. But this is just it, the reality of this world. My last word for them, I just hope they're happy together fcuking in hell.

Bocor Lagi by Keris Silau - Malaysia Today

Bocor teruk kata Samy
Wiring lama kata Ramli
Bangunan tua kata Nazri
Najib said it's PWD

Semua ada alasan sendiri
But where you all spent the money?
RM90 juta untuk cantikkan lobby
So that it looks luxury

Nice décor and nice settee
But now you kena letak baldi
Bocor teruk when it rains heavily
MP yang busuk pun boleh mandi

The floor is wet and slippery
The luxury lobby now looks untidy
Inilah dia third class mentality
Luar cantik tapi dalam very shoddy

Structure work should get priority
And now whose responsibility
JKR or Parliament Committee
While you all gaduh sama sendiri

Rakyat want an answer immediately
Otherwise kita tak bagi you undi
Sebab you spent money unnecessarily
You know it is taxpayers' money
So please spend the money wisely.

Sorry Jude bcoz this is end of our journey together. Gd luck in everything u do. 7:54pm