I had trouble sleeping last night.

My room mate wasn't around til 2am. So I pretend to sleep, while he was getting ready to bed.

Our beds are oppossing one another, which means if he sleeps and faces his left (and me facing my right) we would be watching each other sleeping. It's so weird because I have never had a stranger company in a room. At home, I have the room on my own except for my little brother who has revently taken over some space. And while I was with my bf, we were in bed together. Not seperated like in this case.

The ceiling fan was beating fast. I knew he had trouble sleeping too. So I peeped.

I lookover across his bed. He was facing me too. But I didn't know was he awake, or eyes closed because my glasses weren't on! Whatever it is, I was really getting it on last night. I couldn't resist, and had a hard on. Some part of me wanted to cross over and slowly caress him. Some part of me "slaps my face and forget about it"!

I tired down at nearly 3am.

Dejected. But I will have a few more tries soon.

I hate my Wednesday timetable. Although I only have two classes (1 hour each) on this particular day, the irritating problem is that one class is in the morning session and the other later evening. WTF!

Today, after report writing class I went to the cafeteria for lunch with sister and cousin. FYI, both of them are studying at this University College. As I noticed, there are actually a number of worthy good looking guys around campus. I have my favorite lists. There’s this one particular Malay chap whom I tag as the Hero Remaja! The reason being he reminds me of the many male models wannabe in one of the local Malay teen magazine.

He’s tall, fair and nice built guy. His girlfriend is so ugly, that I wouldn’t mind to replace her. But I don’t like this guy because he is my competition at campus! The competition for the most beautiful man on campus!

I think he’s bisexual….

I was at the Thank You party for all volunteers of the Red Carnival last Saturday evening. The committee graciously invited all the performers, but sadly only I came representating the whole gang.

I brought along mum's carrot cake for the Chairman and his partner. But shared them with everyone. It took 5 minutes to dispose. Cool huh.

Anyway, it was a great evening for me to get to know the PT people. Since I will be doing more of this volunteer work with PT, I should get acquinted to the personels too. I got to know this one guy who studied the same course I am doing now. I think he is in his late 20's. From his accent, I knew he was an overseas graduate. Well some overseas graduate don't have accent, but some do. Whatever it is, this Chinese guy had an interesting story to share. He graduated from the US of A, and worked as an assistant video editor then. But when the economic crisis hit, it was a turning point for him as that job did not provide him the necessary satisfaction. Hence, he quit and moved to Ukraine! (of all places)

In between muching the rendang and listening to him, I reminded myself that this could be one a hell of a long long narrated story....and me being the nicest lot around, stood and carried on listening.

In Ukraine he met this Italian guy who happen to be the ambassador too. Cool. I was excited then! After a year a so, this political guy had to move back to Italy (Rome) and asked him to accompany. But the catch was he cannot stay with him as the ambassador does not allow boyfriends to stayover. Whatever excuses. And at that moment too, he was persuaded by his mother to get back.

So here he is today, living helplessly in KL teaching English in a private university. I forgot to mention that he is so charming! I thought of having sex with him that night. But on second thought, nah...let's keep it that way. He confessed that he was an attention seeker! HELLO! How can two attention seeker sleep together? It's so againt legally bottom!

There's nothing much of agenda this week at campus. Instead the projects, and assignments are pilling up. Dame.

There's this one research report where I have to cover on HIV/AIDS. Well actually it was up to the students to decide on the area of research, but I thought since I have the know-know in this area should take the great opportunity to learn and in the same time score! Duh.

I dyed my hair red on Sunday. It was just for the fun. I wanted to do something odd since dad is not around until January. It is not the red-red, chillie red colour, but it is obvious from a close range. I'm happy with this for mean time. At least these attention seeker get what he wants for now! Hoho

I'm getting a little bit confused with my dating status at the moment. I am so in love with this guy whom I broke up recently, and patch things back again. But then my mind is distracting me with many other choices available outside.

I'm just split with everything.

He called me two nights ago, and we spoke for nearly 2 hours. I missed him so much, the things we do together and such but I just can't let it out. My heart can't leave him, but my mind is just being a real bitch.

Got up at nearly 10 today. Report Writing class has been canceled to allow the students to work on the group project.

So anyway, I took the day to clean the room. Thank God my room mate weren't around. I peeked at his timetable on his desk, Wednesdays seem to be a hectic one for him. As oppose to mine lah!

Got my laundry done, which cost me RM4.50! Dame.

I had a quiz in the afternoon for Office Application subject. I scored 15/20. I was just too excited but it's not a test or whatsoever. It's just a quiz.

I took off from the lab asap, as I was rushing for a cheerleading class. Huhuhu. The same old me. Practically, today was a little bit different than usual because I was heading to the AmBank Kajang Branch to meet one of the officers, whom drove me all the way to Seremban branch to audition a bunch of wannabe cheerleaders.

Actually, they are preparing for AmBank's Sports Games nationwide level next February. Interestingly, cheerleading is one of the contested sport.

I'm taking charge of Zone 3 (covers Melaka - N. Sembilan - Selangor branch). The audition process was a huge task. I had to be patience, because most of them were either lembab...or just can't cheer at all. I got the 10 girls I wanted but this would be another huge task for me. It's like turning an ugly duckling to a beautiful white swan. I'll update you on this!

See if my magic wand works!

This would be an exciting week for me to finally be in the driving seat of a student.

Having to actually live on campus has its advantage in which opens my thinking cap. There are many type of characters that I have never approached of in my life before, and made me realise how lucky I am to be brought up in a moderate but yet fulfilling upbringing.

It is very true how upbringing reflects the person at present. His character, his language and his manner describes his family.

I have not made friends with anyone, except my sister and my cousin. Ironically, my sister is my classmate! We're doing the same course. Sibling rivalry? Maybe.

Anyhow, I should be able to accommodate myself to this new environment. If not, then I have to suck it up and just hate being here. One thing I have learn from my Theories of Communication subject is that we ought to accept to a new environment that we are in. We can't change an environment, but we can change the way we adapt to it. Role taking they say.

Just sharing what I have learned lah....

I have been enrolled to a new college, hopefully the last of this series. My dad has transfered me to my sister's college, Kuala Lumpur Infrastructure University College (KLIUC) or formerly known as Ikram College in Serdang for the better cause.

For the next 2.5 years this native boy will be pretty much spending his time in the Serdang vicinity. Putrajaya is only 10mins away!

I will be moving into the hostel, of which I have request to have the 1 room single bed. Firstly, because of privacy. Two, I don't like sharing. Three, I can bring any man in! Hehehehe. Stupid! I have packed my stuff, and a few big stuff like the table lamp, the Hi-Fi set, 1 side table and my mirror!

I'm so excited for this. After all the setback I have been through, I hope this whole new environment would cheer me up as Christmas would be around the corner. Unfortunately, my parents will be going back to Sarawak for Christmas for some community responsiblity. Crap. Guess I will be spending my day with my siblings.

It might sound pathetic but I could be spending my Christmas at Musictheque! Kesian kan?

Although I cannot blame the fact that the issue of my relationship with my boyfriend would be the in-thing here to read. But I don't need the necessary attention, or perhaps any charitable cause from anyone. I was just upset.

It has been a week, nearly two now. I have left his house, the two cute cats and perhaps most importantly his companionship. I missed it so much. But I have to move on. Time was sincere giving me the opportunity to hitch back the tore relationship. I was given the decision.

Though I am still confused, I hope my decision to stay single at this moment would do justice to me and favourably to him. I know I was a bad boyfriend, whom didn't care much of what it takes to be understanding. I was the selfish one. And I took it all for granted.

He still sms me, wishing me good luck for the Singapore trip and etc. I'm just so lucky now. Having a man who is still so faithful. A man whom was once my true love, and still. But now just a friend from afar. I know he is going to read this. I hope the space given will not do much harm do both of us.

My weekend was a testing ground on my capability to withhold my promise to stop the HIV/AIDS from spreading. I was originally the main core committee of The Red Carnival, organised by the Pink Triangle Organisation. My main task was to provide entertainment at the street carnival for btoh 2 days.

At first, I thought this would be an easy task. But after sitting in the drive and getting the whole entertainment set on the full scale, I then knew it was not what I have though earlier. Approaching 8 dance group to perform for this charitable cause was a huge task. I understand that performing for charity is a difficult attraction to get skilled and talented people to display thier act for free! But I did my kick. And pulled in all 8 groups and performed for both days. I was happy overall the fact that the carnival was so much better than last year. Besides, the crowd was there to support. Not. They were there watching, but not participating. Getting them to speak on a taboo subject like HIV/AIDS was a task.

Saturday I spend my whole day behind stage getting all acts ready. But on Sunday, I manage to pull through and went on volunteering by selling Red Ribbons, balloons to the public besides giving out postcards and informative phamplets on HIV/AIDS. I learned the many attitudes of my fellow Malaysians. They were this bunch who are the supporting lot, where they generously donated RM10. They were some who didn't care much, but gave away RM1 because they pitied us. And some didn't even bothered!

A weekend of learning and educating the public overall gave me a positive inject to pursue my work with Pink Triangle. I am not surprised with more projects coming up, especially the Mardi Gras I proposed for next year. I hope this will come true!