Remember the headlines posted here few days back, I have left out 2 of them. I will post them here, and you will get to know how both headlines are actually connected to the other.

With the Commonwealth Games going on at Melbourne, I am one of the few Malaysian sports enthusiaste who never misses the action going on at the three Astro Supersport channels. Everytime if I were to get hold of the Astro control, the only channel in my mind would be 83. And you get to press the R button to see the updates and so on. The Malaysian contingent initially targets to win 10 gold medal. But it looks like this would not materialise, unless the Malaysian badminton team manages to make a cleen sweep in every individual event.

So far, the four gold medals came from weightlifting (don't you think our Mohd. Faisal is so-so quite), lawn bowl (2 gold medals from the women's tripple and single) and badminton mixed team. The one obvious downfall is from our squash queen Nicol David, who was beaten in the semifinals by Natalie Grinham of Australia. To make things worse, our darling even lost in the battle for the bronze playoff to an unknown Shelly Kitchen of New Zealand.

How this have effected me? Well I watched Nicol lost the semifinals battle at my ex place. And that evening I was to go back home to revise. I couldn't revise let even bothered to open my notes. I guess this is how a sports freak gets dejected when your superheroes loses a game. Now I understand why Englishmen gets carried away outside the stadium when England lost at World Cup!

But overall, I am quite happy with the overall performance by the Malaysians sportsmen. We excelled in various discilpline instead of pinning hopes only to badminton. Our neighboor Singapore only had to count on Table Tennis for medals, while we have victories in weightlifting, lawnbowl, shooting, badminton, gymnastic rhytmic, diving and hockey.

I applaud the Malaysian government for pumping in millions to get our athletes excell at the international arena. Malaysia is one of the only few Asian countries who has a government support with the setting up of the National Sports Committee who is chaired by our Deputy Prime Minister. It takes another 2-3 years to see how Malaysians sports would grace the world meets and make sports freak like me even prouder!

So we had sex a couple of times now, and it reminist the good old times when I was still with him. Now, my ex, is dating this one guy whom I will call Adik. This kiddo feels intimidated by me when I'm around. According to my ex, he thinks that I have this certain aura (which freaks me) that makes him feel threathen. I mean, mak tak pakai pun ubat mujarab ape.

The other I came to stay over my ex place, hoping to have some kinky session. I call it the rekindling of old times, but he thinks its just sex and thats it. It is so irony that I have this weird feelings back again. I had a friend who came to know that I was seeing him again and all, and using the phrase...."kalau dah ludah tu, I tak jilat balik!". Well I do get the point there, but this one relationship I had was not diludahkan!

Back to the story, I was in bed with him chating about what was to happen us and what is he going to do with this Adik of his. I didn't bother to go any further because it wasn't my business to interlude in his affair. As long I know that I have what I want, that was it.

The house phone rang, but my stupid ex ignored the calls. Ignored the smses coming in. Then I found out that he was actually avoiding this Adik. Ok fine. So what happen next? This Adik was already outside knocking on the door. My ex was then caught in his most horrific gay-relationship experienced. We were exposed! Kantoi!

This kid saw me, and all was just not right at that moment. He ran, my ex had to chase. It was so the drama that I just stood and continued on with my scene. I mean we were caught red handed, so in the movies what the other usually does is just walk about in the living room and curse. I did pretty much the same, except less dramatic. Because there was NO camera to take my shots!

I was actually dumfound. I felt stupid. I felt upset.

I'm upset that my ex is torn in this stupid situation. Although I know I want him, but I just can't have him. I want to have him, there's things that I have to sacrifice. Which I can do but not a promise. From what I know, this Adik is back with him. Though we would not get to meet intimately for the next month maybe.

This suck now because he is with this Adik when I really want to be with him. I think this is just stupid. I mean if someone loves someone very much, how can he love someone else at the same time when he loves the first one more. It is ridiculous. Or am I the only who doesn't understand.

We did talk about him having both of us as his lovers. I thought it was cool because first I will get the title Lover Pertama and he the Lover Muda. Then I gave it a deep though.

Sumpah this will never jadi! I was not raised to suite this polygamy. Sorry.

p/s: and what really annoys me now is whenever I sms him, this Adik will always either reads them, or replies them. Isn't the sms were suppose to be meant for my ex to read and reply. I don't understand my ex either. Maybe he is just giving in for this Adik to do whatever he wants and be in control since my ex has commited a fault. I just can't tolerate this anymore. I swore to sms him the last earlier today when the Adik replied back. So I guess I will keep it to this way now. There are so many obvious errors committed by this Adik in their month relationship. Now I'm all cried out...

Hurray! Exams finally over, now I can seat back and relax for a while before going back to books, assignments and attending (or maybe skipping) classes.

Overall, I think I have lost my concentration a little bit and perhaps this would result in a drop in my overall pointer. Not a goodbye yet to 3.5 but hoping for some miracle. I know I flunk my Office Application Technology paper. That would effect the overall point.

Anyway, I will be quite busy handling the Cheer Emas cheerleading competition which will be held on 1st and 2nd April. This event is my team's commitment to South City Plaza, who sponsored us to the UK last year. Although I have a very ambitious planned for this competition, I guess my best is not the very best yet! Only 8 teams signed up. Maybe because of the bad publicity. But judging wise, I'm quite happy because I manage to bring in judges from Singapore and Thailand.

Teams competing are quite balanced. We have 3 very prominent teams including CHARM Allstars and Maclay. Not forgetting my baby, Extreme Malaysia Allstars (EMAS). I don't know what to expect, but I really hope the EMAS team will score a victory over CHARM. Just a wish.

We will be conducting a trial next month to select members to represent Malaysia once again to the UK. This would be my team's 2nd appearance after the successful debut last year. This time around, we would definetly aim higher. The team would be bigger in number and of course exceptionally more promising than the last year team. Technically and diffuclty wise, I am much confident that we would pull off this year.

This is roughly taking its toll though. I have been so active the past weeks cheering. Training 4 different teams throughout the week is very tiring. But I guess this is what I wanted truly. I mean cheering is my love. Something that I will bring forward to my next life, if God permits. If I live to 80yo, I will not let that poms of mine leave me. Only until I die.

Sorry for the jiwang ending paragraph.

What a week of intense drama I had!

If I were to write every detail of every minute I spend the past few days, I guess watching the horrific scenes of Final Destination 3 is less intrugue!

I cannot write every bit at this moment. But I will probably recap a few things here and there. And later on when I complete my last paper this Friday, I'l promise to come back here and finish where I left.

The Headlines

1. Affair Exposed!
As I have told you here, I have been meeting my ex intimately....

2. Studying not to excel
Remember I self proclaimed that my aim for this semester is....

3. Stepping in the Dungane
Knowing me, I don't think this d**k of mine can....

4. Cheer all out Jude!
The past one week, I have had my enough shares of cheering...

5. Top to bottom!
Nicol David lost the f**king gold medal!

Today's my first day of my semester's final exam.

Office Application Technology subject is my least favorite this semester and for obvious reason the four essay questions needed to be answered was one of my most dreadful moment! Answering a Miss World question is much much easier to me!

I finished around 10plus and urgent to the computer lab just to log online. Internet is the best way to de-stress, then smoking!

Azmir smsed me early in the morning to wish me good luck. My ex smsed me after the exam to wish me good luck. I'm so blessed at this very moment! I'm the dame queen.

I think I should tell you this. Azmir did not go back as planned yesterday morning! Well I smsed him around his departure time, twice, but did not get a reply. Funny. An hour later or so, he replied, "I baru bangun. Sorry tak balas. Agaknya tak balik ke Penang. Rindu you sesangat!"

Well that was enough to figure out what was to be planned.

First things first, I had to drop by to my ex (where happens to be Azmir is staying over - at his friends in Phase II, Block 3, 6th floor and unit number...) place to do some cheer work. Well it was akward that my ex's 6ft tall bf was around, and that we had to some house chores together. I insisted being the Isteri Pertama, ordering Isteri Muda to help out on the heavy loads. I only took the cats to bath. That's all! Then Isteri Muda had to serve Isteri Pertama some home-made curry puff. It was deliciously prepared. Perlu sangat nak ambik hati I! Sudah....

I have no qualms over him lah. He seem to be a nice young man. As long he does his duty, and makes my ex happy. That will do.

Meanwhile, I persuaded Azmir to play badminton in the evening. Well he planned to swim together but the weather was not inviting. The cloud was going grey. So we decided to either play with the bulu tangkis, or squash. I so badly want to play the role of Nicol David, but that didn't materialised! So badminton was it and it was more of putting my jantan-ness to the test! Think of Rashid Sidek and the gang. Yuck!

Two Indian man who booked the court, arrived and asked us to joint them for a double match. It was the battle between 2 young hot gay men versus 2 not so handsome but dark straight men. Sorry girls to put all of us to shame, we lost! The straight beat the not-so-straight 15-13 / 15-9

I did so many mistake and I know if the match was televised Live like the weekly Akademi Fantasia, all PLU's will be cursing at me! And maybe go ga-ga over Azmir for his great badminton skills.

Puh-kee-mak!

Ever since I left the world of romance and commitment, I was uncertain what was next in line for me. One pretty obvious thing was that I was going to have fun! I am not complaining that during my 2 years relationship with my ex, I was not happy. I was really indeed, especially that I was falling in love and still is.

But me, being a f**king Aquarius could not stop go around bunking other guys. Which of course is not fair to my ex. He knew it, and I knew it too. So there you go.

The past 2-3 months was a gruelling test. Single you call it, and I couldn't really survive that much. Maybe I was too much dependent to my ex then.

You may have know by now, I have met or perhaps had sex with a few men. Including some not-so-great dating spree lah! That didn't stop me from moving on, right? So yesterday I was online chatting. Kwang kwang kwang....

*thought I wouldn't be doing this, unless desperately...

I chatted with some nicknames. Well only one guy ticked me. I enjoyed chatting with him, which only took about 25minutes to decide next where to meet up. Actually we were both really bored. Sunday afternoon and the weather was fine, so maybe all you need was a fine man beside you. We met at Bukit Bintang, some coffee house lah.

Let's call him Mir. He's a 25yo Malay chap from Penang who works in a Hotel right down the Gurneylane. Yes, this new guy I met works and resides in Penang. He was in town for the weekend. We couldn't talk much because apparently a few of his friends was with him then. Bad move!

I guess I was too pretty yesterday that he decided to leave his friend and brought me to a pizza outlet for dinner. Then, we had all the quiet time we needed. Now who is ticked by who?

He offered to send me home since I was rushing back to Hostel. I told him to just join his friends and chill. We can meet again.

Mir was leaving to Penang today at 9pm.

So confession from this hotstuff of the day, I managed to persuade him to come and visit me at the Hostel the same night! Crazy indeed. When he dropped himself on my single size bed, he looked at me and smiled, "I tak tau lah kenapa I datang sini all the way jumpe u.." In my heart, he was maybe horny so wanted a good sex from this native boy before leaving back to his hometown.

I had to inform my cute roommate, Lim, about my visitor who was to stayover the night. That's why he's cute as he didn't mind.

You don't expect us to have sex while my roommate was around or not. I mean I am playing with fire here. We did some light stuff together, and gosh he is a dame good kisser!

He had to leave around Subuh because he drove his friends' car to see me. Alarm clock was at 5.45am. My f**king roommate was not around! Dame apa lagi. Kongkek lah!

Kongkek punye kongkek.....my room door knob was ticking. F**k don't tell me it's him. Thank God the comforter mum gave me was the saver of our lives! He came in unannounce, and we pretended sleeping like dead pigs!

Well noticed or not, I accompanied Mir to his car half an hour later. Phew!

Before going off, he demanded a kiss from me. Dame! So like Hindie movie scene. Imagine that when I kissed him, all lights at Block F is turned on. All the boys starring out the window waving at us, and singing! And cheerleaders tumbling out in the car park! All I need then, was just good hairdo and a light foundation to put on. Heheh.

He has decided to leave to Penang the next day because he wants to watch movie with me later today!

So here we go, Hip hip hooray!

So with Abang J out of my mind, temporary, I decided to move on and not to put expectations from him anymore. I always get replied sms from him that he is either busy with his work, or outstation. So much the irony that he was so keen to go out with me in the first place. Perhaps maybe he is really busy. Whatever.

Had no plans on Saturday except a last minute luncheon with my ex at Ampang Park. At first I asked him to invite his bf to join us but he said that he was entertaining his parents from Penang. FYI, my ex's bf is from Penang. A final year UiTM student majoring in Marketing. eugh...

When I entered Cozy House Restaurant, there I saw these two obvious gay couple seating handsomely together. My mind couldn't stop swearing! Wtf! Either he lied, or that his bf just decided to drop over. Again, whatever.

I needed to be the one in control with the conversation. Just in case I get overshadowed by the UiTM boy. (apparently we're the same age, but I'll just call him a boy lah since he is younger than me by 7 months.) I was too much talking about things my ex and I could talked about and not let him participate. So I gave way, and asked things about him. I asked 10 a sentence he replied a word. Again, wtf! Am I too intimidating to him or what? Maybe I am! Heheh. With the ex bf under my belt, guess I was the heavyweight champion on the table!

I think I should stop writing about my ex, and his bf and me. This confusing triangular relationship. Let them be gay and merry and not be bothered by this celebrated cheerleader cum dancer who keeps on annoying his ex on sms. I'm sorry.

But if I happen to write again about this 3some act, jangan marah. Because it's interesting to share. I still love you, my ex. You tau kan.....

I am totally confused with abang J now. Well I did not write in details what we spoke during our last date. The serious conversation was that he did asked (or shall I say proposed) me to be his partner. Or a boyfriend. Or a lover.

Well I was really really surprised. Speechless. I couldn't reply a word but smiled. I told him later that we should just go out a few times and see how things are.

I am convenient being around him. Nice house, nice room and all. But I haven't seen the other side of him yet. His friends. His hobbies and all. Although I could not compare him to my ex at this moment but perhaps it's just a start. Thank God this abang J speaks English. Heheh. It's important.

I don't know what kind of music he listens too. Hopefully not Siti Nurhaliza or Mawi. But he goes to Blue Boy. Dame. If he goes to Musictheque, okay jugak. Susah nak cari lover yang duduk rumah on weekends and watch Queer Eye for A Straight Guy.

I like to control but not to be controlled. Unfair judgement. But this is me lo.

Nobody likes to be the loser.
And that was what I felt yesterday at the 2nd THop Dance Master Challenge 2006. My dance group, Inferno, finished 4th overall.
The final battle lineup consists of 10 groups and based on the 2 previous heats only 5 groups are in the running. Besides my team, the other obvious favorites is Twister (4 male instructors from Batu Pahat) and Fundamental Funk (my 4 cheer babes). Two other groups are TT Girls from TAR College and DT4 from Klang.

Well Twister opened the competition with an amazing routine. I was dumbfounded, maybe speechless but kept it quiet. I had to be strong for my members. They were good, except maybe the transitions were not great like ours.

Fndamental were good too. They should have won Best Dance Choreography if there was one. But effects weren't that much. TT Girls used the same routine from heats. DT4 were the surprise of the competition! They were one of the losers at last year's competition but this year as though they've bounce back from the grave. Many tricks and stunt.

Top 5:
1. DT4
2. Twister
3. Fundamental Funk
4. Inferno
5. TT Girls

My next competition is for Dancemania at Sek Sri Garden. It's a fund raiser event offering RM1500 cash prizes for grab. I'm sending 4 guys this time. Really want to win! Was so close yesterday, but maybe this Friday things will change.

Pictures of THop will be posted soon!

It is so sad being the terrific communication student in class, but horribly putting things to practical.

Situation
My roommate and I.
The semester is going to an end in about 3 weeks. And if I were to compile the conversations we had for the past 12 weeks, I don't think I can even write a paragraph. This is because the words spoken are far less the same.

Hi. See you. Thanks. Good night.

If I do achieve the 3.5 pointer I targetted, I would still consider myself a failure. Having my roommate and the communication breakdown is my ultimate challege for the next semester.

I can't tolerate looking at him this morning. I had to get up before subuh to do some revision for a test. He was out all night last night, so practically I kinda missed him. Saw his cute face as he was sound asleep. Surprisingly he doesn't snore. Which is good.
There you go. He was wearing one his shortest short and went topless. I couldn't concentrate more reading but tentatively peeping on him tucked in his bed.

So this resulted in me not being able to answer one of the subjective question on the epochs of media study on human civilisation. F**k you roommate!

This week is not bad at all. At first I thought I would not go through the week with ease as there were gazillions things to do. But with the great time management I've learn from high school (right!), and a bit of sure luck (thank God!) I think I am managing things well.

First, all assignments for finals are nearly done. Well only 2 left to be finished before Friday. Presentations all done. Scoring near distinction for both. Thank God 2 other presentations were last minute cancelled as the lecturer thought it was just too much to handle.

Next, cheerleading practices going steady. Managed to squeeze the practices with my other trainings. DHL is leaving to Singapore next Friday. Competition is on the weekend. If they win (which they will!), they will automatically fly to Germany in June for the worldwide competition. And guess what, I'll be boarding the plane too! Yay.

Third, dance competitions! Yeah. I might have not said this before. I have actually signed up for dance competitions with a few other dancing friends. At first, I gave it a brief thinking but due to my heavy commitments to cheerleading I decided not to. But when I actually went and watched the heats of the Sungei Wang 2nd Thop Dance Masters Challenge last Sunday, I immediately signed up! Got 3 other friends (well one stranger actually!) to join in. We call ourselves Inferno. The good thing about four of us is that we're all quite fast learners. So getting a routine done in 3 days just in time for the last heats was a no hiccup. We squeezed through to Top 6 and will be appearing at the Finals on Sunday.

Come and watch me. Competition starts sharp at 3pm but I would suggest for you to arrive earlier to book front seating. We will be dancing to music from Lose Control and Pass the Dutch (Missy Elliot), a little bit from Moulin Rouge, Hollaback by Gwen and the finale is a mixed song which also has some Lady Marmalade in it. We will be using poms and jackets as our props. (ala cheerleading gitu!)