So what is it like to be in a situation when the person you love most does not understand you? And at the same time you were totally caught up on the wrong edge, and everything seems to point out the bad impression of you?

I had a messed up quaral with my love one last week. I was really pissed with his attitude, something I have already been immune too. But it got too much when I just blew the lid off. I was writing and replying messages constantly. Putting all the past to the present, and saying all things I shouldn't have as what I did was wrong. Well if I put my communication theory unto hand, I shouldn't have. But one cannot control self emotion right?

I would describe that I am having an emotional war with my partner. Seriously, I don't know what is getting into his head? It seems that sometime he doesn't understand at all what I am going through.

I had to go back to my parents to so-called celebrate my thriumph at the dance competition, when initially it was suppose to be just the two of us. Well I had to informed him about the plan has to be postponed. So then he had to mention that oh I cannot see you until Friday, which I understand because his mom is admitted to the hospital. What I am not satisfied with is that he wants me to make all the first move to say things and act them out. I mean, WTF!

Sorry you have to read this, but I had to write them somewhere. I have no one to turn to. My sister is too in love with his Nepalese cyber boyfriend so has no time for my little grudge. Gay friends to turn too? I guess everyone has a problem. So who else to turn to when I have a personal blog!

But personal it is, when even my lover already know's the web address!

I'm just so fucked up now.