Finally, I'm writing from the desktop from the lab. Just 2 hours ago, I was attempting my last paper for this semester. That was the sixth, and the last to hurray me to a much needed holidays in the coming week.

I won't exclaim that the paper was easy nor tough, it was just appropriately even. You know, cukup-cukup makan. I can blame it on me again, for being totally ignorant of what are the priorities for the weekend. I had 3 days from the fifth paper to this to prepare and it took me at 5am this morning to revise. What did I do the last three days?

Well Friday, I had the usual cheer training. We have a competition this coming Sunday at Cineleisure Damansara and being the one hot favorite team it takes real pressure to actually perform to our true best. That night I stayed over at Pantai Hillpark, which I had to wait for nearly 3 hours outside because my ex wasn't back from his short teh tarik with his buddies. Whatever. So I took the opportunity to go through my audition routine for So You Think You Can Dance reality program.

I woke up around 8 the next day to go for auditions. Well I was excited because this was the right platform for me to excel. I was there slightly around 9 and registered with 2 friends. Of course being a dancer for awhile, you will definetly be noticed and also seeing the other dancing friends of yours trying out their luck. I was interviewed twice before the audition which in a way already gave me the extre confidence. I showed some stuff which was a bit too much I think.

I heard how the process went the first day so expected the same the next day. We had to dance to the tune of Pump It from Black Eyed Peas. The song was ok, but what I did was truly something not I expected too. In my interview, I mentioned how my background was so influenced with my cheerleading career. The American judge was impressed with the cheerleading development in Malaysia, which hold my interview longer than others.

After the audition, while waiting for the result, I was again interviewed but now by a reporter from Kosmo. So imagine what was I to feel after all the fuss? Confidence grew bigger. I was even asked to go to the billboard of the reality program for some headshots. Many people were looking, and already congratulating. But I was not sure.

Then result came in. I knew and sensed something was wrong when my number was called out. Eventually I was in the group who did not made it to the next round.

Again I was interviewed for being the loser.

I shed a few tears, because I wanted this so badly. After watching the American version last year, I thought it would be cool to have it here. And when finally when it materialise it seems to be I was just not good enough to entice the eyes of the judges!

You can't win everything that you are doing at, you can just keep on trying. Until the day you win. Amen.