So we had sex a couple of times now, and it reminist the good old times when I was still with him. Now, my ex, is dating this one guy whom I will call Adik. This kiddo feels intimidated by me when I'm around. According to my ex, he thinks that I have this certain aura (which freaks me) that makes him feel threathen. I mean, mak tak pakai pun ubat mujarab ape.

The other I came to stay over my ex place, hoping to have some kinky session. I call it the rekindling of old times, but he thinks its just sex and thats it. It is so irony that I have this weird feelings back again. I had a friend who came to know that I was seeing him again and all, and using the phrase...."kalau dah ludah tu, I tak jilat balik!". Well I do get the point there, but this one relationship I had was not diludahkan!

Back to the story, I was in bed with him chating about what was to happen us and what is he going to do with this Adik of his. I didn't bother to go any further because it wasn't my business to interlude in his affair. As long I know that I have what I want, that was it.

The house phone rang, but my stupid ex ignored the calls. Ignored the smses coming in. Then I found out that he was actually avoiding this Adik. Ok fine. So what happen next? This Adik was already outside knocking on the door. My ex was then caught in his most horrific gay-relationship experienced. We were exposed! Kantoi!

This kid saw me, and all was just not right at that moment. He ran, my ex had to chase. It was so the drama that I just stood and continued on with my scene. I mean we were caught red handed, so in the movies what the other usually does is just walk about in the living room and curse. I did pretty much the same, except less dramatic. Because there was NO camera to take my shots!

I was actually dumfound. I felt stupid. I felt upset.

I'm upset that my ex is torn in this stupid situation. Although I know I want him, but I just can't have him. I want to have him, there's things that I have to sacrifice. Which I can do but not a promise. From what I know, this Adik is back with him. Though we would not get to meet intimately for the next month maybe.

This suck now because he is with this Adik when I really want to be with him. I think this is just stupid. I mean if someone loves someone very much, how can he love someone else at the same time when he loves the first one more. It is ridiculous. Or am I the only who doesn't understand.

We did talk about him having both of us as his lovers. I thought it was cool because first I will get the title Lover Pertama and he the Lover Muda. Then I gave it a deep though.

Sumpah this will never jadi! I was not raised to suite this polygamy. Sorry.

p/s: and what really annoys me now is whenever I sms him, this Adik will always either reads them, or replies them. Isn't the sms were suppose to be meant for my ex to read and reply. I don't understand my ex either. Maybe he is just giving in for this Adik to do whatever he wants and be in control since my ex has commited a fault. I just can't tolerate this anymore. I swore to sms him the last earlier today when the Adik replied back. So I guess I will keep it to this way now. There are so many obvious errors committed by this Adik in their month relationship. Now I'm all cried out...