Remember the headlines posted here few days back, I have left out 2 of them. I will post them here, and you will get to know how both headlines are actually connected to the other.

With the Commonwealth Games going on at Melbourne, I am one of the few Malaysian sports enthusiaste who never misses the action going on at the three Astro Supersport channels. Everytime if I were to get hold of the Astro control, the only channel in my mind would be 83. And you get to press the R button to see the updates and so on. The Malaysian contingent initially targets to win 10 gold medal. But it looks like this would not materialise, unless the Malaysian badminton team manages to make a cleen sweep in every individual event.

So far, the four gold medals came from weightlifting (don't you think our Mohd. Faisal is so-so quite), lawn bowl (2 gold medals from the women's tripple and single) and badminton mixed team. The one obvious downfall is from our squash queen Nicol David, who was beaten in the semifinals by Natalie Grinham of Australia. To make things worse, our darling even lost in the battle for the bronze playoff to an unknown Shelly Kitchen of New Zealand.

How this have effected me? Well I watched Nicol lost the semifinals battle at my ex place. And that evening I was to go back home to revise. I couldn't revise let even bothered to open my notes. I guess this is how a sports freak gets dejected when your superheroes loses a game. Now I understand why Englishmen gets carried away outside the stadium when England lost at World Cup!

But overall, I am quite happy with the overall performance by the Malaysians sportsmen. We excelled in various discilpline instead of pinning hopes only to badminton. Our neighboor Singapore only had to count on Table Tennis for medals, while we have victories in weightlifting, lawnbowl, shooting, badminton, gymnastic rhytmic, diving and hockey.

I applaud the Malaysian government for pumping in millions to get our athletes excell at the international arena. Malaysia is one of the only few Asian countries who has a government support with the setting up of the National Sports Committee who is chaired by our Deputy Prime Minister. It takes another 2-3 years to see how Malaysians sports would grace the world meets and make sports freak like me even prouder!

So we had sex a couple of times now, and it reminist the good old times when I was still with him. Now, my ex, is dating this one guy whom I will call Adik. This kiddo feels intimidated by me when I'm around. According to my ex, he thinks that I have this certain aura (which freaks me) that makes him feel threathen. I mean, mak tak pakai pun ubat mujarab ape.

The other I came to stay over my ex place, hoping to have some kinky session. I call it the rekindling of old times, but he thinks its just sex and thats it. It is so irony that I have this weird feelings back again. I had a friend who came to know that I was seeing him again and all, and using the phrase...."kalau dah ludah tu, I tak jilat balik!". Well I do get the point there, but this one relationship I had was not diludahkan!

Back to the story, I was in bed with him chating about what was to happen us and what is he going to do with this Adik of his. I didn't bother to go any further because it wasn't my business to interlude in his affair. As long I know that I have what I want, that was it.

The house phone rang, but my stupid ex ignored the calls. Ignored the smses coming in. Then I found out that he was actually avoiding this Adik. Ok fine. So what happen next? This Adik was already outside knocking on the door. My ex was then caught in his most horrific gay-relationship experienced. We were exposed! Kantoi!

This kid saw me, and all was just not right at that moment. He ran, my ex had to chase. It was so the drama that I just stood and continued on with my scene. I mean we were caught red handed, so in the movies what the other usually does is just walk about in the living room and curse. I did pretty much the same, except less dramatic. Because there was NO camera to take my shots!

I was actually dumfound. I felt stupid. I felt upset.

I'm upset that my ex is torn in this stupid situation. Although I know I want him, but I just can't have him. I want to have him, there's things that I have to sacrifice. Which I can do but not a promise. From what I know, this Adik is back with him. Though we would not get to meet intimately for the next month maybe.

This suck now because he is with this Adik when I really want to be with him. I think this is just stupid. I mean if someone loves someone very much, how can he love someone else at the same time when he loves the first one more. It is ridiculous. Or am I the only who doesn't understand.

We did talk about him having both of us as his lovers. I thought it was cool because first I will get the title Lover Pertama and he the Lover Muda. Then I gave it a deep though.

Sumpah this will never jadi! I was not raised to suite this polygamy. Sorry.

p/s: and what really annoys me now is whenever I sms him, this Adik will always either reads them, or replies them. Isn't the sms were suppose to be meant for my ex to read and reply. I don't understand my ex either. Maybe he is just giving in for this Adik to do whatever he wants and be in control since my ex has commited a fault. I just can't tolerate this anymore. I swore to sms him the last earlier today when the Adik replied back. So I guess I will keep it to this way now. There are so many obvious errors committed by this Adik in their month relationship. Now I'm all cried out...

Hurray! Exams finally over, now I can seat back and relax for a while before going back to books, assignments and attending (or maybe skipping) classes.

Overall, I think I have lost my concentration a little bit and perhaps this would result in a drop in my overall pointer. Not a goodbye yet to 3.5 but hoping for some miracle. I know I flunk my Office Application Technology paper. That would effect the overall point.

Anyway, I will be quite busy handling the Cheer Emas cheerleading competition which will be held on 1st and 2nd April. This event is my team's commitment to South City Plaza, who sponsored us to the UK last year. Although I have a very ambitious planned for this competition, I guess my best is not the very best yet! Only 8 teams signed up. Maybe because of the bad publicity. But judging wise, I'm quite happy because I manage to bring in judges from Singapore and Thailand.

Teams competing are quite balanced. We have 3 very prominent teams including CHARM Allstars and Maclay. Not forgetting my baby, Extreme Malaysia Allstars (EMAS). I don't know what to expect, but I really hope the EMAS team will score a victory over CHARM. Just a wish.

We will be conducting a trial next month to select members to represent Malaysia once again to the UK. This would be my team's 2nd appearance after the successful debut last year. This time around, we would definetly aim higher. The team would be bigger in number and of course exceptionally more promising than the last year team. Technically and diffuclty wise, I am much confident that we would pull off this year.

This is roughly taking its toll though. I have been so active the past weeks cheering. Training 4 different teams throughout the week is very tiring. But I guess this is what I wanted truly. I mean cheering is my love. Something that I will bring forward to my next life, if God permits. If I live to 80yo, I will not let that poms of mine leave me. Only until I die.

Sorry for the jiwang ending paragraph.

What a week of intense drama I had!

If I were to write every detail of every minute I spend the past few days, I guess watching the horrific scenes of Final Destination 3 is less intrugue!

I cannot write every bit at this moment. But I will probably recap a few things here and there. And later on when I complete my last paper this Friday, I'l promise to come back here and finish where I left.

The Headlines

1. Affair Exposed!
As I have told you here, I have been meeting my ex intimately....

2. Studying not to excel
Remember I self proclaimed that my aim for this semester is....

3. Stepping in the Dungane
Knowing me, I don't think this d**k of mine can....

4. Cheer all out Jude!
The past one week, I have had my enough shares of cheering...

5. Top to bottom!
Nicol David lost the f**king gold medal!

Today's my first day of my semester's final exam.

Office Application Technology subject is my least favorite this semester and for obvious reason the four essay questions needed to be answered was one of my most dreadful moment! Answering a Miss World question is much much easier to me!

I finished around 10plus and urgent to the computer lab just to log online. Internet is the best way to de-stress, then smoking!

Azmir smsed me early in the morning to wish me good luck. My ex smsed me after the exam to wish me good luck. I'm so blessed at this very moment! I'm the dame queen.

I think I should tell you this. Azmir did not go back as planned yesterday morning! Well I smsed him around his departure time, twice, but did not get a reply. Funny. An hour later or so, he replied, "I baru bangun. Sorry tak balas. Agaknya tak balik ke Penang. Rindu you sesangat!"

Well that was enough to figure out what was to be planned.

First things first, I had to drop by to my ex (where happens to be Azmir is staying over - at his friends in Phase II, Block 3, 6th floor and unit number...) place to do some cheer work. Well it was akward that my ex's 6ft tall bf was around, and that we had to some house chores together. I insisted being the Isteri Pertama, ordering Isteri Muda to help out on the heavy loads. I only took the cats to bath. That's all! Then Isteri Muda had to serve Isteri Pertama some home-made curry puff. It was deliciously prepared. Perlu sangat nak ambik hati I! Sudah....

I have no qualms over him lah. He seem to be a nice young man. As long he does his duty, and makes my ex happy. That will do.

Meanwhile, I persuaded Azmir to play badminton in the evening. Well he planned to swim together but the weather was not inviting. The cloud was going grey. So we decided to either play with the bulu tangkis, or squash. I so badly want to play the role of Nicol David, but that didn't materialised! So badminton was it and it was more of putting my jantan-ness to the test! Think of Rashid Sidek and the gang. Yuck!

Two Indian man who booked the court, arrived and asked us to joint them for a double match. It was the battle between 2 young hot gay men versus 2 not so handsome but dark straight men. Sorry girls to put all of us to shame, we lost! The straight beat the not-so-straight 15-13 / 15-9

I did so many mistake and I know if the match was televised Live like the weekly Akademi Fantasia, all PLU's will be cursing at me! And maybe go ga-ga over Azmir for his great badminton skills.

Puh-kee-mak!