By now, everyone knows that I'm actually a single young gay man again. The break up of my recent near 2 years relationship was a big hit to me personally. But the decision was tough and a must. But not everyone knows about it. I was this one joint where plu hangs-out with friends for drinks and chats. It was my ex's friend. He was there with his other friends. He saw me and dropped by to see me at my table. He asked how was I with my bf (ex lah), and it was so akward but me being the true professional said things were good. Like usual. Well let time do the rest for him lah. He will know it one fine day. For now I am fine.

Then I have this one friend who was in shocking trauma when he found out I met my ex for a drink the other day. "I thought u broke up!"

Well breaking up the relationship doesn't mean we can't meet up for drinks right. I met my ex again at Musictheque. It was another akward scene for me. I was trying so good to be normal about it. Bumped him at the corridor and we chat. I was shying away from the drag show which was going on. As we came back looking for his other friends, he hugged me. It was nice of him. But I felt terribuly wrong. Then again, I am fine lah. Be the liberal new-age sensation guy!

While thinking of what to write, I just receive an sms from a friend who is currently on a mission trip to travel the whole land of Indonesia. The sms go:

Now in Danau Toba. Hujan and sorang2 dlm bilik. View breathtaking tapi semua gelap.

It is so cool to be able to travel alone, and enjoy the freedom. I wish to be in his shoes one fine day. Maybe travelling now is a no-no for me. One, because I need a bank to support my trip. Two, I have many other important life engagements now. Three, enjoy what young bitches like me do nowadays first. Ie. Clubbing & sauna.

If not mistaken, Danau Toba is where the massive giant volcano is. No wonder breathtaking maybe. Tapi gelap. So his sms is a bit conflicting. But whatever it is, God's creation is always beautiful than Beyonce's butt. But Beyonce's is also God's creation!

Enough said. God is just great lah!

I had one of the most boring holidays ever. Well, I did post my grudge here. And again I am swearing upon it. My lecturer asked me how was my break, I smiled: "Boring giler! Can't wait to start class!" Yeah right.

It was just excuses. I needed to do something. Maybe studying was one of it. Have not had sex on the weekend. So maybe that is one of the othe reason for the grudge. I can't tolerate that the semester will come to an end soon. 4 weeks. And of course the Finals. I'm quite optimistic with my results. After reviewing all my 5 subjects, I think hitting the 3.5 should not be a problem. I think. It's just an opinion. I have so far done well, above average, near distinction for most of my assignments, projects and presentation. Semalam, my test for Comm Theory pun dapat puji from lecturer. Owh, perlu sangat lah tuh....

My roommate has been a nice chap. We finally talked on Sunday night! Yes! We talked. Made conversation. Two way communication! He was a bit gagap, and teragak-agak in asking me some questions like where do I live, what do I like, do I have a girlfriend, where I hangout...... All these questions are so famillar! So I asked him, without hesitate, are you top or bottom?!

He said, "what?"

I said, "top or bottom?" He gave me a frawn. Silent. And he replied, "I'm flex."

It takes a f**king dutch courage to do that ok!

These cny holidays is totally turning me into a restless person. So many hours to kill, and I don't know what to do. Although I know I have 2 presentations to be presented in class in 2 weeks, I just don't have the right mood to finish my assignments. I just needed break. But the break given is too much. I think Malaysians have been quite a lazy lot the past month. With so many many holidays, especially when it was on a Monday and everyone takes this huge opportunity by taking longer leaves. Silly but no offence. Thank God I have this new digital thing with me. I was at SoGo yesterday with my twin sisters, and mum. Mum was actually trying to get something from the street nearby so popular for what it sells. So silly, I couldn't bothered to tag along but remained at SoGo. Everyone was everywhere. Duh! It was a holiday. Silly. I took many silly pictures. But this silly computer of mine can't load in some of the silly pictures I took. I'm not silly, the computer is.

I miss Willy pulak! My fingers can't stop typing, because silly rhymes with his name, Willy.

Sometimes when I speak on the phone with him, he sounds silly. I mean like a blonde. It's either he can't understand me speaking with English accent or maybe just plain silly. Oh Willy!

I don't think I will be parading Willy to any of my friends any time soon. I'm still in the midst of knowing him because whatever-happened-to-Stevie case is not to be repeated. Stevie sms-ed me last Monday wishing me Gong Xi Fa Cai. So silly. Again. No offence to those who have sent me one, but it is annoying for friends to not know which joyous season do I really celebrate. I'm alright with the Muhibah concept, but to me assuming a person's belief is a no-no. Just because I'm sepet, doesn't mean I decorate my house with Red tiny envelopes! Btw, mentioning of the Red envelope. Since I only visited 2 houses this year I only managed to collect a dreadful RM3! Shame. I think it's the age.

Do I look so matured? Willy thought I was 27yo plus when he first saw me. I feel really old! I envy my darling friends who still have the adonis feature and all. But I have to live with what I have. Just accept the fact that I am already drawn in the group of those who matures beyond their age. I'll stop here. As I keep writing, I will be writing more dreadful stories. I need a break. If not, I'll turn silly. Sillier than Willy!

I have been trying to make an appointment to meet Willy for a date, but to no success. It's either I'm not available or he isn't.

He called me at 3.45am yesterday! He just got back from a friend's party. He was drunk. Willy said he missed me so much and wanted me to be with him then. Crazy. I was actually just out of bed watching Oprah's repeat! I thought of driving to his place, which was less than 8mins. But I managed to convinced him to get a rest.

Willy and I have differences, expecially in our family upbringing. Last weekend, we had a nearly 1 hour chat on the phone and he was speaking of his father and how he hates him so much. I tried to understand him, being a 19yo, young brat, all the urge and rage. But then thinking of the overall effect, Willy should try to accept his father's immoral behaviour. I'll try to be the angel. But with no promises.